To Bleed or Not to Bleed?



That is the question! Over the past couple of months Rivers of Grue has taken a fairly hefty step away from its original course and become much more than just another horror site. For starters, it isn’t actually wholly focused on the macabre, and this was always the intention. No boundaries I said and I uphold that claim. Horror will forever be its primary home but there is nothing to stop us veering into less crimson-tinged waters once in a while is there?!


Secondly, it has acted as a support network as such and this, whilst never the primary aim, was again intentional. The vantage point I have gained has allowed me to understand, not judge and instead offer support to fellow bleeding souls. It’s remarkable how that has enabled folk to have a voice where their muted cries weren’t actually being taken on board. It has unified us and already I know that lifelong affiliations have been forged.


Of course this fills me up with pride, tears of joy stream down my cheeks and my heart and soul are perpetually invested now. I shall state this from the offset; Rivers of Grue is not going anywhere; we’re in this for the long haul. However, something has altered within Keeper. I posted a piece called Teetering two dusks passed and, if you weren’t already aware, this was intended to be my final bleed.


I say bleed; let me clarify for y’all. I have dealt with my demons now; that piece could’ve swung either way but, as expected, the mighty quill bailed my shit out. I kinda knew that would be the case before scribing and trusted that. The blood flowed to the tune of nearly 2,500 words and my health was replenished. Furthermore, it has elevated me to a fresh vantage point.


It is vital, at this juncture, that I make this opaque. The intensity of my scribings shall not be affected; if anything, my writing will benefit from my new-found focus. Keeper slays with conviction and that won’t ever change. If the quill needs to be armed then that will happen in an instant. What I won’t be doing, at least consciously, from now on is defending my actions. I’m so done with that.


Malignant waves may have crashed around us of late but I know, in my heart of hearts, I need justify nothing anymore. Y’all have done nothing but guide me through my own darkness and I know that true Grueheads won’t listen to propaganda as that’s all it is. I’m drawing a bright red line under it and, should anyone question my integrity, I shall gladly usher them to this article and let it do the talking.


Clarity. Yes clarity. Okay then, biting social commentary? Still there, I have my knives drawn when it comes to society and misplaced mind-sucking media. That won’t cease. My personal laundry on the other hand, well let’s just say it’s washed, ironed and packed away now. What has needed to be said has been said; I don’t wish to become a parody of myself or expect others to be interested in my reiteration of the same sorry subjects.


This brings me to a critical point I wish to state most vehemently. One thing I am unswervingly is aware, occasionally confidants may need to advise me as I’m not Jesus; there’s no scriptures to refer to for inspiration. I listen, truly I do and, what’s more, I take action where required. I fully get that others are at varying junctures in their healing process and don’t wish to move any goalposts or sweep the carpet from beneath those still hurting. Neither am I suggesting anybody else follow the Piper and make a decision based on my epiphany.


If y’all need to carve out that pain as I have then, by all means, carve away (metaphorically of course). Bleed out your suffering and turn it into stark beauty, as you do so eloquently on a daily basis. What kind of leader expects others to follow suit regardless of their own personal inclinations. A fascist leader, that’s who. I’m not that, Rivers of Grue is a democratic state. We all have voices, they’re beginning to make noise in the right places and we all have the freedom to operate within these vast rivers.


For me however, I intend on empowering, Oprah-style, others to make their own choices, for that brings the self-assurance we all wish to facilitate. Nothing will change; other than the fact that I will have more presence on Social Networking Mediums and plough the lion-share of my day to enjoying the rivers I have helped formulate. I’m a people person, first and foremost. I love you all and feel saddened when a message is sapped away down my Twitter ‘feed of speed’ and I don’t reply to another’s requests or welcomes. No more; this shit is on lock-down. I shall exist primarily in one room; said domicile now includes nearly 2000 Horror DVDs and half of that again on hard disk. Since forming this consortium it is mildly hilarious that I’ve watched very few films. Too busy bleeding to actually relax and take in a full length feature; the vaults have become stacked up with some ‘to do list’ let me tell you. That is about to change.


I’m playing catch up; quite the formidable task when faced with such an extensive catalogue but I shall persevere. As usual, original content will adorn the site, sequences will be completed, woefully tardy interviews conducted and the Grue…that resplendent Grue…will flow with even more purpose than before. As for baring my soul; that is not ever going to change, it is what sets me apart from many of the droves of “reviewers” currently plying their trade.


My defenses however, have dropped. What good is a healing process if there is no light at the end of the tunnel? All of you have created such beautiful illuminations and I dare say things would’ve played out entirely different if not for the unwavering support I have received. I believe this officially denotes phase two of the Grue, join me in your own time as I am not going anywhere. I shall wait patiently until the point where this army is ready to rise and then…rise we most certainly shall. Know this… I adore every last soul which resides in these waters; Rivers of Grue has always been about the love as you know well. Each of you has helped me overcome my turmoil and I envisage right now that there are a number of heads being scratched. “What did we do?” You did the most fundamental act of human kindness I could have ever expected. You just believed in me. Now, it is time for y’all to reap the rewards.


Click here to read Clapped in Irons






  1. “To Bleed or not to Bleed” turned into “To Breathe or not no Breathe” a few times while I was reading this article. My heart and air almost stopped flowing here “…, if you weren’t already aware, this was intended to be my final bleed.” I am happy to hear that the Rivers of Grue will continue to flow/overflow in Crimson Red, for this is another home for me.

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