Title art by L.H. Grey

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Hank Williams Jr. “Attitude Adjustment”

Got trouble on my mind this day
And you bet your sweet ass
I plan to misbehave

Both the son of a gun and the daughter of hell and high water
Got a hip flask of whiskey
I like to swig it at the altar

Don’t give me those eyes of mild disdain
These knuckles of mine they tend not to falter
Will knock the next week right into you
With the fight I’ve got brewing
And if you’re not breakin’ out in a sweat just yet
Well, then you really oughta be
Got trouble on my mind, you see
And with the hair of the dog that bit me
I’m whiskey bent on freewheelin’ and feelin’ real frisky

Been bound for hell since, well, forever I guess
Give me one good reason, a little falsehood and some treason to get off my chest
And I’ll make you one helluva mess

I’m quick on my feet
I’m light but I’m heavy
Jokers I’ve played out
Laid out along the levee

Can pop the hood on my ’64 Chevy
With two swigs of whiskey and the fire from my belly
Will introduce pedal to metal then pop her sweet cherry
Some folk say I’m kinda scary
Somethin’ to do with howlin’ at the moon when my palms get hairy
Been bound for hell since, well, forever I guess

Don’t cuss me out
Believe you’ve sussed me out
Or I’ll slow poke your ribs
Until you crap ’em out
Use ’em to floss my pearls
Then mark it as a spare
Where I come from that’s called a night on the town

Got trouble on my mind this day
And you bet your sweet ass
I plan to misbehave

Both the sun in the sky and the moon on the water
Got my hipflask of whiskey
and I’m headed to the altar

Seen some dark days
Made it through some crazy nights
But never have I started one single fight that I couldn’t or wouldn’t kiss goodnight
Gimme grounds for misbehavin’ and I’ll raise you sweet hell
Damn well do so with flag red and wavin’
What can I say?
The army surplus store was all out of native white

In case you were wonderin’, these ain’t prescription shades I’m rockin’ out tonight
It’s just that the future’s so doggone bright
And no, that is not a harmonica in my pocket
So sue me
I like my denim good and tight
In all the right places

Got trouble on my mind this day
And you bet your sweet ass
I plan to misbehave

Both a rabbit in headlamps and big cat in the shade
Got the arms of a dude and the legs of a lady
and I’m headin’ off back to the ranch right now to take a gamble on my baby
Needless to say, I’ll be goin’ all in
And no sweat on the flop as I’m never less than strappin’

Got trouble on my mind this day
And you bet your sweet ass
I plan to misbehave

Finders greykeeper’s and the fee could not be sweeter
Been bound for hell since around the tenth beer
So good luck with prayin’ with my thumb in your ear
Got a love right here that grows steeper than a bar tab but works out far cheaper

With a mind that is full to the Stetson with trouble
Bartender already pourin’ me a double double
Got my very own angel right here on my arm
And we just got back from the altar

Got trouble on our mind this day, you see
You bet your sweet ass we plan to misbehave

Richard Charles Stevens

Keeper of The Crimson Quill

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