Caliginous

Caliginous was written in October 2019 and has remained unpublished until now. It speaks of the calm in overcoming blackout.

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The Agnes Circle “Monument”

triggered
and back to oblivion
bound by obsidian wraiths
holding firmly in place
within stygian caves
where they binge on felled braves
too late to back out
i blackout
thus revealing more intimate shade

every sense heightened
every ligament ablaze
every major vein is scintillant
yet in the shadows i remain
for i desire the taste of noir
that comes from braving abbatoirs
to teach the dark a thing or two
of what my caliginous habits are

used to downright dread the change of scenery
that anyone would wander out of range seemed plain obscene to me
misery loves company
not that these words encouraged me
but if i wished to realign, then i would need to be prepared to feed meat to the grinder
dare to spend time with the other me

get primal and bleed from the eyes if required
to release that within from its bind
leap in blind
embrace the flame
reclaim the original fire
should we live as we learn
then i would much rather burn than wait my turn to die
thus, fell into the deepest trance my blackened eyes could testify
sat back on my onyx perch
observed the innate knack for purging
verging on the brink
quite simply
death defying
one left in the clip
and fucking alive

there used to be a time when i was too afraid to die to live
blind from what my eyes forbid
no soul to take
not mine to give
too tired for ifs and buts and maybes
nothing left inclined to faze me
needed to go bat shit crazy
act akin to mad dog racked with rabies
use this as the basis for an underway recovery
feel the rage to name and shame the other me
screw inertia
wasn’t working
fears kill minds when tears stop jerking
boys don’t cry
or that’s the rule of those who waste entire lives shirking
i was naked to the bones
and though i didn’t know for certain
had to go for broke to find the placebo for all the hurting

made my way back from oblivion
no longer livid
revealing a shade far more vivid
too brave to back out
i blackout
and must give away
it feels fucking exquisite
my supernature parades front and centre and ventures affray just to hustle the limits

every sense heightened
every ligament ablaze
every major vein is scintillant
and every shadow knows well of its place
for i desire the break of day
that comes from chasing night away
to teach the dark a thing or two
of the art of caliginous shadow play

Richard Charles Stevens

Keeper of The Crimson Quill

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3 Comments

    1. I love that you did as this is a poem all about overcoming blackout and the shadows which so often pen us in. Thank you for your brave in persevering. As with any of my darker themed works, it is all about reaching the light source and beating the blackout. ✨🌈

      1. That’s it, you ALWAYS flick the light switch on in life and your gift will help all who reads your work to change the blown bulb in their minds 💛💡💛

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