Keeper’s Treasury of Verse


Welcome, to my Treasury of Verse. Here you will find an entire catalogue of prose published since 2013, when I first commenced writing under the pseudonym of Keeper. There are a wide array of treasures in this particular rabbit hOle, some of which are fiction, others poetry, and of course the introspective pieces which I have become known for over the past few years. Views and opinions may well have changed during that time, some considerably.

However, every last one of these works was delivered straight from the soul at the time of writing and, as a proud journeyman, I feel it important to chart my artistic trajectory as I have battled numerous inner demons and finally arrived at the realization that they’ve been leading me down the left-hand path for a very distinct reason. I trust you will enjoy your time here and remind you that quality control is a massive thing for a perfectionist like myself. My wish has always been to engage the reader using every last tool at my disposal. And every last beat of my bloody heart must be left there on parchment. Now, let’s bleed together shall we?




3:10 to Zuma
10 Faces I’d Like To Punch
10 Things I Love About Grue
15 Minutes of Shame
78 Card Pick-Up 
99 Solutions 
1001 Reasons 
2018: Year of the Spartan
2019: Year of The Tribe COMING SOON

A Beautiful Fucked-Up Mind
A Crazy Case of Cranial Contortion COMING SOON

A Day At The Wacky Races 
A Friend, Indeed
A Journeyman’s Tale COMING SOON

A Kiss To Tell

A Matter of Mind 
A Mighty Fleet 
A Nekromantik Tale 
A Serbian Nightmare
A Shot of Therapy COMING SOON

A Tale of Two Testicles
A Tall Tale of Telltale Signs COMING SOON
A Wolf Decomposing
A Wonderland To Plunder COMING SOON

Access All Areas 
Adventure of A Lifetime 
Adventurer Wanted 
Alice Does Wonderland 
All Aboard The Human Centipede

Almost Human

Always Tomorrow
An Evening With Frogger 

An Ode To The Grueheads 
An Old Dog Sings The Blues 
Angel in My View
Angry Baboons Will Fuck You 
Anonymous Narcotic 
Anton Yelchin: Stargazer 
As Lightning Strikes The Tree of Life COMING SOON
As Yet Untitled… COMING SOON

Ash’s Lament 
Attack of The Drones 
Baby Steps & Giant Leaps 
Bad Blood 
Bad Days & Good Vibrations
Ballad of The Queen Bee COMING SOON

Bandit Manhunt 
Basket Case Blues 
Battle of the Bust
Be Kind Rewind
Becoming Sun and Moon
Beggars, Fools and Thieves

Beneath the Corcra Tree COMING SOON

Better Chemistry Through Living 
Better Man 
Beyond the Battle of the Bust
Black Widow 
Blank Canvas 
Bleeding Out
Blessed Perspective COMING SOON
Blind Man’s Snuff COMING SOON

Blondes Prefer Gentlemen 
Blood Line

Blue-Eyed Boy
Blue Monday 
Booty Calling 
Born Again 
Boys Have A Penis, Girls Have A Vagina. 
Brain Sex 
Brave New World 
Breast Intentions
Breathlessly COMING SOON
Breath Control

Bridge Over Bubbling Cauldron 
Bucket or Fuck It? 
Camera Shy 
Camp Fright 
Cannibal Abomination 
Carousel of Courage

Carrie and I 
Castaway Blues 
Castlevania: Alucard’s Quest 
Cat’o’Nine Lives 
Chain Letter COMING SOON

Chairman of The Hoard
Chasing Angels


Chicks With Guns 
Chomp Thing
Choose Your Destiny: The Challenge 
Christine: Driven to Destruction 
Chronicle of Slumber
Climax at Wanton Plaza COMING SOON

Cold Front

Cometh The Fly 
Come Fly With Me 
Comfortable Strangers 
Comfortably Numb
Confessions of a Sex Kitten 
Confessions of An All-American Cheerleader 
Confessions of The Invisible Man 
Conquering Kilimanjaro 
Crawling Sure Beats Dying 
Creators Unite 
Crimson Requiem 
Cropsy: The Burning Within 
Crossed: The Scourge 
Crumbling Under Nightmarish Truth 
Cuckoos, Magic Carpets & Faraway Trees 
Curses, Foiled Again! 
Daisies Into Chains
Dance of the Blue Soul COMING SOON

Darkness Incomplete
Date With a Human Centipede 
Dead Ends and New Beginnings 
Dead Freshman’s Society 
Death Loop 
Decisions, Decisions 
Demons! Demons! Demons!
Departure To Arrival COMING SOON

Desert Island Castaways
Die You Alien Bitches! 
Don’t Blame Dennis 
Don’t Feed After Midnight 
Don’t Go Near The Last House By the Edge of The Woods… Alone 
Dorks of The World Unite! 
Dorothy Does Oz 
Down With Law 
Dracula: Banquet of The Damned 
Dream Job
Dream To Catch COMING SOON
Echoes of Eternity COMING SOON

Eclectic: A Life in Music 
Eighties + Horror = KABOOM! 
Eighties Horror: The Great Flashback Giveaway 
Eighties Slasher: The Definitive Cut 
Eli Roth: Horror’s Great White Hope 
Ellie’s Verse 
English Psycho 
Enjoy Your Trip 
Escape From The Eighties
Ever Blessed, Be She COMING SOON
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Deadpool But Were Too Chicken Shit To Ask 
Every Closet Has Its Monster 
Everyone Loves a Kidder 
Face or Gut? 
Famous Last Words 
Fangs For The Memories
Fear is The Mindkiller
Feral Eyes Familiar COMING SOON

Final Girl 
First Time
Five-Minute Pilgrimage

Flesh and Blood 
Flying With Monkeys 

Follow The Leader 
Four Funerals & A Wedding 
For The Sake of a Soul 
Four Skins

Frankenstein For Dummies 
Frankenstein Meet Bride 
From Chills to Spills
From Lion – to Mouse
Funny Boy 
Funny Business 
Future Proof 
Games of Death: Resident Evil
Going There
Goldilocks & The Three Bears: The Home Invasion 
Good Bot, Bad Bot 
Good Shit! 
Gosh Darn It: Thanks!
Gossamer & Ash Eloquence

Grue Monday 
Hanging With Arthropods 
Hangman Tree 
  Hänsel and Gretel Make a Porno
Happy Face
Happy In The Ever After COMING SOON

Head Full of Horrors 
Head In The Clouds: A Hardcore Rave Souvenir
Heaven Scent

Hell Granny 
Hell Hath Fury 
Hereby Cometh The Fall
Higher Ground 

Him or Me? 
Hirax: Brotherhood of The Black Heart 
Honey I Shrunk Keeper 
Horror: An Idiot’s Guide 
Hot For Teacher 
House of Fun 
How About Those Nineties 
How Katrina Fell In Love With a Sea-Monster 
How Keeper Got His Groove Back 
How To Make an Eighties Slasher 
How To Survive a Horror Movie 
Human After All 
I Can 
I Feast On Your Bones 
I Spit On Your Goose 
I Was A Teenage Deadhead
I Wish, I Wish I Was Samuel L. Jackson 
If I Should Die Before I Wake 
Ill Communication 
Imaginary Fiend 
In Linnea We Trust 
In The Moment 
Invasion of the Humongous Blood-Sucking Leeches from Outer Space 
Invasion of The Crawlbots 
Iskra Unmuted
Island of The Seen

It’s My Party 
Jigsaw’s Puzzle 
Judgement Calls 
Kaleb Tholen: Kindred 
Keeper and The Candyman 
Keeper and The Crate
Keeper To My Soul

Keeper vs. Bieber 
Keeper vs. Keeper 
Keeper’s Grue Banquet 
Keeper’s Mindfuck Carnival
Keepsake Soul
King of Swords

Kiss My Jaws 
Krazy (Starring Kreepazoid Kelly) 
LSD 101: Walking The Wild 
La Rosa Negra
Last Man Standing 

Laughing Out Loud: A Tribute to Eighties Comedy 
Life & Other Lessons 
Life of a Scribe 
Life After Cornelius
Lilenthrien COMING SOON
Lilith’s Song
Literally Speaking COMING SOON

Little Miss Muffet: Tales From The Tuffet 
Little Red Riding Hood: Cries of The Wolf 
Living Dead Girl 
Living in Shadows 
Loaded Questions

Looking Glass 
Lost & Found
Lost, Little Girl – Found COMING SOON

Love Bleeds
Love Fights Back
Lucky? Like Fuck 
Lucky 7’s 
Lucky Man 
Mad Carnival: Call of The Cloyne 
Magic Carpet Ride 
Making Conversation 
Man or Bandicoot?
Man or Mouse?
Mares, Scares, & Cheddar
Mating Games
Matt Horwich: Multiverse Surfer
Meeting John Amplas
Mental Health & Me
Mia Mona Lisa
Monkey Business
Monster’s Ball
Much Ado Without Bluffing
My Brother, The Brave
My Friend The Warrior
My Friends Are All Dead and I’m Next
My Ghoul
My Red Blooded Valentine
Narnia: A Delight Most Dubious
Never Before
Night Cap
Night of the Comet: The Reunion
Night of The Screaming Co-Eds
No Place Like Home
Nostalgia & Chianti
Now You See Me
Ode To Despair
Of Viking Pride COMING SOON
Off With His Head
Oh No, It’s Ren & Stimpy
Oh The Horror!
Ola El Lecheroso Bandito
Once More Down The Rabbit Hole
One Down the Rabbit Hole
One Flew Into The Cuckoo’s Nest
One Last Wish Before Dying
One Wish To Tell COMING SOON
Painted Skies
PassiOn kill COMING SOON
Pass Me The Valium (Starring valiumfreak)
Paulo Heros
Perfectly Ten
Places in My Mind
Plain High Drifter
Postcards From Vice City
Power Shower
Pride in The Shame Game
Push It To The Limit
rabbit hOle
Rags To Rags & Other Riches
Read My Mind
Recollections of My Time as Street Algae
Reptile Dysfunction
Retro vs. Hereafter
Richard vs. The Chimp
Ride Or Die
River of Relative Ease
Road To Somewhere
Romero: Godfather of The Dead
Ronda Rousey: Delectable Destroyer
Rose Red River Bled
Ron Burgundy: The Man, The Myth, The Balls
Running With Wolves
Saara Aalto: Snow Fairy
Sada Vidoo: Rise of The Living Doll
Said King to Pawn
Sanctified Dissension
Satan’s Little Helper
Scared Yet?
Scatter Brain
Science is Weird
Scooby-Doo & The Curse of Bloodstone Manor
Season’s Grue Things
Secrets of the Moon
Serpent in The Garden
Serpentine COMING SOON
Sex Sells, Genitals Smell
Shadow of Kilimanjaro
Shadow Play
Should Memory Serve
Shuffling With Zombies
Shy Girl
Simpat Beshirian: Severed
Simply In The Moment
Sin First, Repent Later
Sirens Encore
Six Million Ways to Die
Skipping Through The Never COMING SOON
Slash Bash
Slightly Ectopic COMING SOON
Slippery When Wet
Sloan Vicious: Ravished
Snakes & Ladders
Something From Nothing

Soul Search
Space Cadet
Spook Show
Star Wars: Awakening The Force
Star Wars: Keeper vs. Vader
Starry Eyes Divine COMING SOON
Stick It To The Man!
Story To Be Told COMING SOON
Straight Outta Corringham
Strange Love Doctor or: How I Learned To Stop Scurrying and Love The Rewire COMING SOON
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Summer Camp
Sünny Side Üp
Swamp Thing Must Die
Sweet Dreams
Switching Channels
Sympathy For Devils
Synthesise COMING SOON
Take Me To Your Leader
Talk Or Die
Talking Head
Tarantino Unchained
Tears of a Clown
Tears of The Blind
Ten Minute Bloodbath
Thank You Sir, Thank You
That’s So Cliché
The ABCs of Grue
The Accidental Miracle COMING SOON
The Amber Nectar COMING SOON
The Amplas Effect
The Anger Games
The AnnThraxx Epidemic
The Anti-Social Network
The Art of Hell-Raising
The Ballad of Barbara Bloch
The Banquet
The Big What If?
The Black Light District
The Blessing of Bedlam COMING SOON
The Bonus Brain Hypothesis
The Camel Toe Complex
The Convoluted Passageway
The Court of Madness
The Crooked Master Key COMING SOON
The Cupid Conjecture
The Current Alternation
The Cynic
The Dare Devil
The Day The World Stopped
The Denial of Donald Treseden
The Devil’s Advocate
The Diversity Persuasion
The Emily Debacle
The End and I
The Evergreen You
The Fall & Rise of Personal Heroes
The Fungus Among Us
The Funny Thing About Butterflies COMING SOON
The Gag
The Good, The Bad and The Living Dead
The Greatest Nightclub on Earth
The Great Unknown COMING SOON
The Hopeful Verse
The Horrors
The Ice Cream Van From Hell
The Illustrious Dance of Perchance COMING SOON
The Importance of Idle Hands
The Jesus Hitler Debacle
The Lady Bathed in White COMING SOON
The Lamenting Keepsake
The Last Dance
The Last Supper
The Last Temptation of Keeper
The Last Waltz
The Leading Man Nobody Knew
The Legacy Confabulation
The Lost Art of Intimacy
The Love Bleed
The Luckiest Guy on Earth
The Magician
The Mourning After
The Muppet Dead
The Opinionation Supposition
The Optimist
The Quench: Eternity’s Kiss
The Quiet Man
The Riddle of Roshwyn COMING SOON
The Sanity Clause
The Schrödinger Theorem
The Sluggish Demise of Cornelius
The Springbok, The Gibbon & The Frisky Canine
The Stocking Filler
The Trip: A Reflection in Technicolor
The True Faith
The Upskirt Files
The Very Simplest of Pleasures
The Weird & The Wonderful
The Wilting Rose in the Briar Patch
The Wretched Fortunes of Sven The Impaler
The XXX Factor
The Young & The Dead
Then & Now
Thousand Deaths of a Mannequin
Turning Tide to Distant Lights
Time Flies
Tobe Hooper: Master of Horror
To Probe Or Not To Probe
To The Rapture of Belial
To Therapy & Beyond
Transcendental Endings
Trial and Error
Trollers Gonna Troll
True Grue: Ingredients
Tug ‘o’ War
Twilight Journal
Twilight of The Dead
Unarmed Symphony
Unconditionally, Me
Undeniably She COMING SOON
Unflinchingly, Me
Unholy War
United We Slay
Up, Down & Everywhere In-Between
Vice: A User’s Tale
Videos & Nasties
Waiting For Salvation
Waiting To Die
Waiting To Live
Waking Up in Tromaville
Walking on Black Ice
Walking The Rose Trail
Waters of The Ever After COMING SOON
We Are Enough
We Need To Talk About Skeletor
Weirdos From Another Planet!
Wes Craven: Nightmare Maker
What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
Whatever Happened To Acid?
What’s in The Box?
What Do You See?
When Hart Met Marcus
When Quill Met Quigley
Whence Dawn Mists Rise
Where Am I & How The Fuck Did I Get Here?
Whispers Through the Chrysalis
Who The Hell is Adam Ginsberg?
Wicked Little Game
Wired For Sound
Wistfully Thinking COMING SOON
Wits, Fits and Blooper Reels
Women in Uniform
Words Play I Say
You, Me And Beetlejuice
Zombies Ate My Smart Phone 





Richard Charles Stevens


Keeper of The Crimson Quill





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