Hierarchy, Angst, Tyranny, Envy


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Of all the million plus registered words in the English dictionary, few appeal to me less than the word “hate”. Indeed, it is seldom that I will use this four lettered work in my writing and this extends to everyday life also. Others may hate something, while I would prefer to strongly dislike it, but attempt to keep my usage down to an absolute bare minimum. The reason for this is simple: it consumes us given half a chance and I’ve met plenty of people over my forty-odd years swallowed up by hate and unable to see past their bright red noses. Interestingly, “love” is a word I have no problem with tossing about like confetti and there’s a clue in there about my character you know. You see, there is one group of people that I have no great desire to ever become a part of, and they are commonly known as “haters”. Bitter, twisted, and overwhelmingly negative, these naysayers surround themselves with ill-feeling and peddle it at every available opportunity. Are they happy? Not in the slightest and the only joy they seem to feel involves making damn sure nobody else has reason to smile either. It’s horses for courses at the end of the day but I don’t want a solitary bar of their hate.


The past few months of my life have been incredibly testing and there have been times (too numerous to mention) when the world has felt like it is crashing down around my ears. During this time, I’ve used the Crimson Quill as an instrument with which to channel any pent-up frustration and sorrow, reaching deep within my soul and plucking out my innermost feelings for all to absorb. That said, even in my very darkest hours, I’ve been disinterested in snuffing out the light and would much rather use any darkness to search for the light and spread hope as opposed to melancholy. I’m truly grateful for the love within my soul and even more appreciative of the fact that it resonates strongly for those I take counsel with. My beloved Grueheads are a militia without weaponry, warriors without swords, and instead use bare hands and souls to make a difference. We choose love over hate every time because, while both consume us, only one does so gently.


Anyhoots, having recently released L.O.V.E. as part of my new Breakdown sequence, I felt it only fair to offer the same column space to its opposite number. Thus I have chosen four individual words to represent each of its letters and come up with Hierarchy, Angst, Tyranny, and Envy as these components all play a part in my opinion and combine with such vitriolic effect. Many times in life we are exposed to situations or people who promote such wasteful claptrap and it is our chosen reaction to this negativity that shapes our own route forward. So, with no further ado, its time to tackle each of these meddlesome nouns in turn and get to the bottom of what makes hate such an inhospitable emotion.


Noun: A system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority.


Some folk just don’t know what to do with authority when awarded it. These wayward souls squander their endowments by investing them solely in self-fulfilling pursuits, with personal gain overriding the needs of the many. To these people, only black and white exist, and shades of grey are discounted as bearing no significance. During my mortality I have come across hierarchy in many different guises. We exist in a society where social standing is determined by the money you have jingling around in your pocket. The way you look is scrutinized and judgements wrongly formed as a result. Those granted a position of power often use their strengths to tread others down as they clamber above them on the ladder and look down their noses at those who gave them a foot-up in the first place. It doesn’t take long for a little power to go to our heads but it is the way this is used by such blinded individuals that keeps me awake at night.


Noun: A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.


Angst is something we all feel from time to time whether we like it or not and warranted when we are exposed to cruelty, ignorance and negativity on a regular enough basis. The world we inhabit is one of man-made frailty, slipping morals, mental conditioning and an inability to empathize with those different from ourselves. These can combine to cause fret amongst those dealt a harsh hand by society but only should we allow such. Why worry about what we cannot change? There is much we witness on an hourly basis that can suck away our very life-force should we provide it our blessing. We enable this by giving up hope in the kindness of spirit, refusing the comfort of strangers, and denying ourselves the benefits of positivity. Lost souls require finding, but if they don’t wish to be sought, then they won’t ever place their heart’s in love’s safe-keeping and this saddens me immensely. Granted, life can have a tendency of beating us to a bloody pulp on occasion but it can also be filled with wonder should we not become embroiled in angst and be prepared to take a leap of faith once-in-a-while. While it won’t always work out, there’s little more gratifying in having our faith in others repaid tenfold and I’d take this risk time and time again just to bask in the glorious light of such moments.


Noun-Cruel and oppressive government or rule.


Similar to hierarchy, my reason for inclusion is this: in a hierarchy where angst and envy co-exist we find the tyrannical amongst us. Cruelty replaces kindness and, in these scenarios, the worst human traits are exhibited openly. Dreams are then plucked from those who have the balls to entertain them, and the whole system breaks down in no time. Other apparently weaker personalities are ushered into uncertainty and distrust, while the fire in their eyes is extinguished, leaving them feeling like the odd ones out just for feeling something positive. The tyrannical are the programmers and they fill their text with psychological viruses that can render our entire operating systems inactive. I make no secret of the contempt I often feel for those tasked with governing us and, while aware that not everyone is quite so lacking in moral fibre, those at the very top have a habit of abusing their positions of power and this trickles down like the poison that it is.


Noun-A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.


I find jealousy an incredibly tiresome emotion and it is one that I strive passionately to avoid at all costs. Trust is imperative to building a strong relationship and, without it, alliances can never hope to flourish, whether romantic or otherwise. This often comes down to our own insecurities and, should we enable envy to take hold, then we reveal the true beasts to our nature. Surely it is better not to focus constantly on others and, instead, find our own centre points as it is here that we find true contentment and inner peace. One thing that rattles my cage to the nth degree is when we are congratulated on our achievements, when our opposite numbers are actually bitterly resentful and wish for nothing more than to see us fall flat. Rest assured, if I say I’m happy for you, then I mean precisely that. No hidden agenda, no green eyes, no bubbling rage – just genuine joy in witnessing the success of another. It’s really not that hard, so why then, are there so many smiling assassins amongst us, wishing us harm from beneath their deceptive veneers? Fuck envy and the sickness it spreads.


While we’re at it, fuck hate too. It can absorb us whole, chip away at our spirit, quench from our essence, and molests our spirit should we allow such. However it’s also a natural emotion just like its hearts and flowers counterpart and one cannot exist without the other. To fully embrace love we must be familiar with hate and, as long as we have some way of channeling it, then it can still be processed into something positive. If we’ve been dragged through thorns and felt the pinch of pain then the pleasure part feels euphoric. Indeed, light illuminates that much more vividly when coming from a source of darkness.


Should you feel it necessary to hate then my advice would be to harness that shit as it will pull out your innards and suck your marrow dry if given chance. If controlled and seasoned with intelligence then you can serve up love from its ingredients. If you chow down on a bowl of shit then that prime rib is going to taste a darned sight more appetizing afterwards. I’ve eaten shit, the feces fed to us daily by those who have no right being in the position of authority they abuse. The thing is, I refuse to consume their swill any longer. There’s not a cut of steak succulent enough to rival the taste of love and thus my diet now only consists of this. It allows for spontaneity, freedom of spirit and a wealth of unbounded riches when you combine it with the love you see in return.


Click here to read L.O.V.E.


Truly, Really, Clearly, Sincerely,

Keeper of the Crimson Quill

Copyright: Crimson Quill: Savage Vault Enterprises 2013



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