Fifth Little Idiom

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Our fifth little idiom is one which gives me great pleasure to introduce. Put in layman’s terms, the doozy represents something outstanding or unique of its kind. To put this in context: I consider Paul Simon’s 1986 album Graceland to be a real doozy of an LP. As you know by now I am disinterested in taking half measures. If I’m enthused then the whole free world may as well know it as what use is emotion if it’s kept under lock and key? Get it out there I say. If something rouses you, don’t merely shrug your shoulders and say “yeah, I liked that”. The vocabulary is there for more than just to pad out the dictionary so use it or lose it. Employ words you forgot even existed if they allow you to make your point passionately. Our voices are under our jurisdiction and only we can use them.


There have been many numerous occasions throughout my life tenure whereby the doozy has been utilized. Indifference is way overused, so much is now is “par for the course”, and I consciously attempt not to lump too much into this category. Evidently, there are times when it is warranted as what good is average if it remains unpopulated? But I’ll always search for the positive before sniffing out any negatives. My case in point is The Matrix Trilogy. Now I know opinions are strong here which is why it’s an ideal example to use. The first outing from the Wachowskis was quite clearly a doozy. It set a benchmark and that shit only happens two, maybe three times in a decade tops. Terminator II: Judgement Day had already provided the nineties’ first true sci-fi plutonium before The Matrix moved the goalposts once again. It was tighter than an Oompa Loompa’s sphincter.


We’re talking great characters, setting, pacing, choreography, script, the whole nine. Expectations were elevated by the time Revolutions took its place on the podium and many tore it asunder for being too convoluted, too confusing and a little arrogant. These may be fair points and it does suffer from the old Back to The Future II syndrome when attempting to bridge the bookends. Would I say it was “par for the course” however?Come on now, it was still leagues ahead of its contemporaries and supplied optical ejaculation on occasions too numerous to relay. Yes, there were downfalls, but initial consumption when we demand such lofty standards will invariably leave a bit of a sour taste and that stands to reason. The forerunner was a perfect movie all the way and, while the sequel isn’t anywhere near as doozilicious, it still reaches those receptors and fires up the pleasure furnace so to speak.

...that come into my head first...
that spring into my head first

My glass is never half empty and if you asked for my Top 100 films then I’d struggle to cram them all in. Fuck it, I’ve just managed to inspire myself to name a hundred films I flat-out adore. Not a 1-100, no particular order, just a glorious hundred-strong gaggle of random geese whose golden eggs look shiny on my mantle piece. There will no doubt be many fine films I overlook and it won’t be intentional but I have to roll with the punches on this one as doozies wait for no man.

The Matrix, American Beauty, In Bruges, American Psycho, Pretty in Pink, Rushmore, Bulworth, The Terminator, Platoon, Mulholland Drive, John Carpenter’s The Thing, Garden State, Knocked Up, Deep Cover, Xtro, No Country for Old Men, After Hours, Can’t Buy me Love, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Shining, Bound, Inception, LA Story, The Big Blue, The Burning, Leon: The Professional, Lost in Translation, Drive, Into The Wild, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Alien, License to Drive, Boogie Nights, Suspiria, True Romance, Wall Street, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Jaws, The Big Lebowski, Kingpin, Fight Club, A Beautiful Mind, Do The Right Thing, Leaving Las Vegas, Before Sunrise, Aliens, Halloween III: Season of The Witch, Blood Simple, Amores Perros, Day of The Dead, The Breakfast Club, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Thin Red Line, Paris Texas, Magnolia, David Cronenberg’s Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Requiem For a Dream, American History X, Fargo, Airplane, John Carpenter’s The Fog, About Last Night, Scent of a Woman, Castaway, Almost Famous, Torch Song Trilogy, John Carpenter’s Halloween, Chasing Amy, Forrest Gump, Cat People, Goodfellas, Jerry Maguire, Amelie, The Lonely Guy, Donnie Darko, Sex Lies & Videotape, Videodrome, Glengarry Glen Ross, Closer, High Fidelity, Something Wild, Martin, Pulp Fiction, Working Girl, Talk Radio, Little Miss Sunshine, 2 Days in Paris, The English Patient, Titanic, Spun, Midnight in Paris, Eyes Wide Shut, The Talented Mr Ripley, The Shawshank Redemption, A Scanner Darkly, The Doors, The Game, True Romance, Creepshow.


Right then, what was I waffling on about? Something about geese? That’s right, the doozy. I have a lot of love backed-up inside so it’s only natural there’s going to be many doozies as far as I’m concerned. Of course, there are dontzies also but if I can’t say anything nice then I’d much rather say nothing at all. There was one this dude in secondary school with an alarmingly over-sized big-toe. We’re not talking a dash bulbous; this behemoth pretty much commanded its own shoe on its very own. There was snickering of course as school is not complete without cruel hecklers but this guy didn’t rise to their mockery once. He even acted as though it fitted right in despite its apparent disproportion. Seriously, this thing had more dimensions than The Twilight Zone. One accidental heel tread on the long walk home could leave your footwear resembling the Orca around the time Jaws used Quint to floss its teeth with.


I did two things. Firstly, I kept my distance during that post-bell pilgrimage and secondly, I saluted the lad. He could have made his own life a living hell, had he been bothered in the slightest by his affliction. Instead, as he pulled on his socks each morning, he looked at his titan toe and muttered something along the lines of “that’s a doozy of a big toe I have myself there”. Learn to love yourself and all else will begin to fall into place right? This may be easier said than done in school as it is such a brutal place, such a kingdom of shattered dreams, but it is the only way. Don’t believe the hype of charlatans, the only person who can stop you doing anything is ultimately you. If I listened to all the naysayers who informed me that being a scribe is a pointless pursuit, I wouldn’t be about to lead this flourishing family, into the exciting new age we stand on the brink of.


Every one of us is outstanding. We’re all exceptional beings with our own individual vantage point. Some of us don’t see our own beauty, even though its there for all to see. We’re not airbrushed and photoshopped. We all take a dump, all bleed the same if you cut us. But we’re all doozies in our own right. What’s the first thing you do when your new lover reveals a ten-inch scar across their abdomen? Give the area a wide berth? Negative, I’d have my face in said scar, tonguing it passionately until its stitches unraveled. It’s a doozy so why not embrace that? We may not all suffer from club foot, one polio-ridden withered T-Rex arm, or cloven hooves but we all have imperfections. That just makes us all the more doozilicious in my mind.


Click here to read Sixth Little Idiom

Truly, Really, Clearly, Sincerely,

Keeper of the Crimson Quill

First Knight of TOK
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Copyright: Crimson Quill: Savage Vault Enterprises 2013 (Revised Edition 2015)



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