Matt Farnsworth: King of Diamonds

Matt Farnsworth copy

Suggested Audio Candy:


Spineshank “Tear Me Down”



Some heads just suit regalia. Certain souls are born to lead, whether born into monarchy or having clenched the mantle of their own accord, these lords take the helm and lead through example. Matt Farnsworth is such a ruler, the independent state he marshals is both burly and  fashioned from integrity and single-minded conviction. He is our Monarch and his offers of a promised land are never less than wholly plausible. Indeed he is the architect of such a kingdom.

It has taken time and great perseverance in the face of sometimes overwhelming adversity. Nothing has come on a plate, hard graft and an unswerving desire to achieve have amalgamated to gain the vantage overarching enough to play puppet master from. He pulls each string with great rectitude, aware constantly of the direction he is headed and, moreover, the trajectory of each and every one of us. As an independent filmmaker he has the vessel necessary to make dreams happen and he has rolled the dice consistently as he strives to take this forward.

Upon breathing life into intimate labor of love Iowa, he was exalted by the Police Athletics League for his insight into Meth Prevention and Awareness alongside Shaquille O’Neal. His vision was uncluttered by studio involvement/meddling and he got that film made his way, hook or crook, enticing the likes of John Savage and Rosanna Arquette to his project and arousing mass interest through its unveiling at the Tribeca Film Festival, where it made the Official Selection. I sat with Iowa again the other evening as I prepared to scribe the appraisal of which this wonderful work has been so truly deserving. I then proceeded to dig around a little. You know what I saw when I perused other judgments, especially from supposed reputable publications? Sour fucking grapes! You see, Farnsworth has never succumbed to the blinkered notion that the path of Hollywood is the only way to get stuff done in the industry. His supposed insubordination lost him ‘friends’ in the industry but he was never here to make up the numbers or conform to what was expected of him. Not Matt.

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Studios have a tendency to suck the marrow from your dream should an inch be given. Before you know it they’re ‘requesting’ changes, picking at the bones of your work like the vulturous cunts they are and leaving you with something barely resembling what it started out as. Some douche-bag in a suit is responsible for these deflowerings and they occur far more than we are made privy to.

In a recent conversation with Ti West about his movie Cabin Fever 2 it became opaque that the end product was merely a molestation of his original vision. I actually felt a little bad for liking ‘his’ final product so, as it clearly was nothing of the sort. Likewise, the great John Carpenter spent the entire nineties being shafted by the long arm of The Man. Folk lament him for his fall from grace when really it was the studio executives which leeched from his ingenuity.

Matt Farnsworth has learned from such indignities and raised aloft his middle digit at those who scoffed his decision to traverse his own path. Bloody minded? He needed to be, martyrdom beckoned and, should that afford other independent auteurs to have the courage of their convictions, then he has paid it forward. In the process he has proven hands-down that entrepreneurial spirit is very much animate in an industry long ruled with a crushing iron fist by those with no right to make such adjudication.

Divine Waves by Governess

Having learned the ropes from distinguished editor Robert Brown whose resume includes The Lost Boys and Lethal Weapon, he soaked that shit up and put his endowments to good use whilst constantly treading his own path. Said trail has blazed its way to The Orphan Killer, the lion-hearted slasher anomaly which has taken the free world by storm since its birthing in 2011. As well as direction, production and performance, he also took the reigns of photography and editing so as to retain full charge in sharing his vision. This bloody-mindedness has gotten him to the summit and without once compromising himself. Who says progress is dead!

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TOK is now poised for its sequel which begins shooting over the next few weeks and is primed to resound the world over. The groundwork is laid, has been for some time, and he has been grinding the gears behind the screen with constancy whilst preparing to make reality the bloody dream keeping him awake each night. There’s nothing knee-jerk about Bound X Blood, it has gestated at its own rate of knots and remains on course to send tremors through the Horror industry upon its eventual unveiling. The fan base is already there without need for billboards and bloated marketing campaigns.  It’s already there at his bloody fingertips.


I don’t know about you but I love me some intensity. The first time we Skyped it became transparent to me that Matt Farnsworth possessed the tool set and, moreover, savvy to truly make the ripples absent in the industry for too long now. You can read his integrity through those ultra-marines, twin oceans of intent which burn through the bullshit and deliver it straight every time. Ladies go weak at the knees, soaking through gussets at the mere notion of his dam-bursting glance searing their way, citing scenes of adulation fueled by their quimms’ shuddering sodden covetousness. He taps out desire like morse code, faster than Angela Lansbury can type her bi-weekly grocery list and those who have remained sexually dormant for long periods are driven wild by lust, reawakened from their tight-gripped slumbers by each subsequent shot of his royal highness prowling with that lascivious intent.

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His flesh is gloriously painted, each depiction of his spirit winding around his nectarinal pelt exquisitely. He works tirelessly in the ring sculpting that glorious framework and this requires a level of commitment he provides cordially. Should that shirt come off then there are a plethora of lickers all reaching for the taste of his perspiration after a long stint in the gym. Matt just keeps on feeding the monkey instinctively.

Our sovereign has earned his supreme rank, leading us out of the darkness with his divine illuminations. Like with any monarch there shall be those opposed to his self-fulfilled prophecy. They are entitled their skewed opinions and only serve to stoke his fire further. Matt Farnsworth lives by his sword so that others aren’t required to, he leads by example and is prepared to go A through B via the whole fucking alphabet if he believes in the cause. It takes a voice to be heard and through habitual enlightenment from our Dark King we have found ours.


Panties… Drop them, NOW!



Unnecessary distractions, uncontrollable convulsions
Those panties our king primers with a gloss of dark emulsion
Its best to slide them down now, to avoid further commotion
Allow those quimms to quench, drinking in his bloody lotion


Relinquish insularity, and he shall bring such clarity
Invite his madness in and he’ll proceed to court insanity
With every scream there comes release, affection through brutality
And all he asks is that you take delight in his profanity


The beast exists in all, there’s mess in every hall
That voice persists in all our heads, just need to heed its call
I’m reckoning the wrecking that he beckons with his ball
incites with never lessening deployment of his tool


Allow those thermostats to soar with King Matt’s latent heat
Your dark desires and burning fires, he loves to keep replete
Be warned of vicious gushing as it’s in no way petite
And as for panties, drop them now to your feet



Dark Madness by Governess

Read Diane Foster: Queen of Hearts


Sin in his name,


Keeper of the Crimson Quill

First Knight of TOK

Copyright: Crimson Quill: Savage Vault Enterprises 2014



  1. Suberb, I love this!! Truth in every word you wrote. Our King is precious to us and his brilliance is very much apparent!! So of course the dropping of the panties happens, I just dont wear any! Saves on laundry!!! *giggles* once again keeper you surpass brillance!!! Xoxoxo

  2. Keeper this was brilliant! Matt is truly gifted and a great person…I myself have recently discovered the wearing of panties to be futile as I’m inevitably going to have to change them!! LOL Love you, love the Dark royals and all of RoG!! MUAH!!!

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