Suggested Audio Candy
Cloud 9 “You Got Me Burnin”
I’m sure you will be only too aware of the sad passing of horror scream queen Marilyn Chambers recently. We lost somebody cherished and, for all the Jamie Lees and Sigourneys, it was she who evoked my strongest response growing up. It seemed uncanny when I received news and I shall explain why. Shortly after I began to scribe appraisals, the great Roger Ebert also expired. While I often disagreed entirely with his viewpoints on films, I respected him fiercely for what he brought to the table during his reign as the voice of a generation. I felt like I was being handed a baton, so to speak, and I see the same thing in action here. Diane Foster is the modern day scream queen to hang our hats on. As Audrey in The Orphan Killer she already demonstrated her prowess once and I am witnessing the second coming as we speak. Needless to say, it is an absolute honor to behold.
Her character’s arc is taking her into some uncharted territory right now but you wouldn’t believe that from how effortlessly she has made the transition. Baby Sister will haunt your dreams and illuminate your nightmares, and her metamorphosis from white to black swan is beguiling in the extreme. In truth, she has been preparing for this part since those barbed-wire shackles slid from her tattered wrists and she made the character of Audrey Miller her own long before cameras reconvened running for the sequel. Having been made privy to her augmentation first hand, I can safely state that she has surpassed even Keeper’s expectations. She prowls with such prowess, from her framework and the way that she carries her shoulders, to the manner in which she clenches her fists and growls her intent so menacingly that it is impossible not to fear for your continuation. Both her and Matt are in the best shape of their lives and have dedicated more hours than I can clock to the pursuit of achieving the perfect physique to excel in their art. She is bringing it the way a true scream queen does and expectations are about to be massively exceeded.
Clearly the commitment was always going to be there but, what has been so glorious to share, is her unbounded talent as an actress and producer. She is aware of exactly what she wants to achieve and knows how to raise her own bar higher, then grasp it tight and hoist that shit some more. Inhabitancy is key, Baby Sister could so easy form a comfy shell for someone of lesser capability but she inhabits every pore and ventricle, and does such organically. The direct results are staggering, slasher has never had female representation as formidable as she and Baby Sister is about to become iconic the world over. When you share a screen with a true professional, it helps you to raise your own game and this has been the case during my first ever acting role. I chose to take every one of her blows and did so with not so much as a second thought as her eyes assured me it was the way to go. Inhabitancy is vital to reaching your zenith as an artist.
Diane is a caring and constantly supportive soul but, the moment camera rolls, she is a vicious remorseless psychopath with designs only on fucking up your day royally. The Miller bloodline is tainted and she wears the cruel cruor with resplendence, totally imprisoned by its darkness while, in the same moment, utterly exposed and free. There is a balance to be struck and strike it she does, we’re talking a real six pointer, way out of the stadium and likely landing in some douche’s Cappuccino four blocks away. It is like a switch that she flicks each time she walks onto set and poise which she holds effortlessly for every second that she dons her bloody regalia. My lip was damned near busted and my ribs bruised by the end of my altercation with Baby Sister and I would do it all again in a heartbeat as it allowed me to live out my favorite horror scene with true authenticity. It seemed like the natural course of action given the belief that she gifted me as a rookie actor and I repaid that with all I could give. That is what happens when you are faced with a truly iconic actress at the height of her game. You raise your own bar.
Instead of mourning the loss of Marilyn Burns I have decided instead to celebrate her art. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remains arguably the best horror film I have ever seen and nobody can ever take her performance away. Diane Foster is celebrating her memory right now by keeping the flag she raised firmly hoisted and going above and beyond in the name of artistic endeavor. It has been a path fraught with suffering but she withstood that as Audrey already. Now this butterfly is about to open to wingspan. Contorted Baby Sister may be but conflicted she is not. There can be only one outcome once the Miller blood takes up residency and she has fully jacked up on that shit. The counter-balance between Audrey and Baby Sister is beautifully measured and her equilibrium never compromised for a picosecond.
Moreover her skill for film production and ability to see it as a long line of simple problems to solve mean that it provides no conundrum. If something isn’t working or needs tweaking then she adapts accordingly and ensures that the obstacle is removed so we can move swiftly on. The moment you could say get into character she will already be there, snarling and flexing as she prepares to bust open another orifice. Her insight is exclusive as she has nurtured this seed from infancy and helped it blossom into what we see before us now. Nothing is ever unachievable, never is a goal too lofty, there is always a solution when you just know where to find it. She knows Grueheads, there has never been a doubt in her mind and her total investment reaps rewards every time she plies her trade.
Diane Foster has excelled already in life every time she has been called upon to invest herself. An original member of the Pussycat Dolls line-up and winner of the Mid West Rising Star Award, as well as playing the titular role in off-Broadway hit That’s Liza, her career has seen a multitude of peaks with not a trough in sight. She has waited until the time is right and stars aligned to reprise her role as the sweet New Jersey lily turned most dastardly female super-villain horror has known and we are getting to the kicker right now. Soon we shall all watch her unveiling, huddled under blankets with feelers up to our faces but never intending to miss a single frame. In case you haven’t guessed by now, that’s rather an exciting proposition to me as I know the way it will play out. The lid is coming off and it will soon be time to clench your sphincters as you’re about to be milked by her studded glove.
Sponsored by @TheOrphanKiller
Performances by @MattFarnsworth @DieannFoster
Cruel Art by @MattFarnsworth
Prose and scribing by @RiversofGrue
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