Suggested Audio Candy:
 Cyndi Lauper “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”
 A Flock of Seagulls “I Ran (So Far Away)”
“Girls just wanna have fun. That’s all they really want right?”
Betsy Jane Sandford was as girly a girl as one could ever envisage, blonde hair in ringlets, more make-up than the entire cast of Apocalypto bundled together, and even a painted on beauty spot just like her idol Marilyn Monroe. As captain of the cheerleading team she was responsible for the involuntary erections of virtually every boy on campus and most of the faculty too. Despite her looking like she knew her way around a penis, she still held onto her virginity for safe-keeping. Her mother had fallen pregnant with her when she was barely sixteen and knew that history had a tendency for repeating itself so raised her not to fritter away her hymen and instead taught her the art of the cock-tease, something which she had implemented on a daily basis ever since transferring to the school from Illinois.
“All boys are good for is looking cute”
Isabelle Wynn was Betsy Jane’s wing commander and never seen more than twelve feet from her illustrious leader. She followed her around like a lovesick puppy, hung from her every word, and enjoyed the attention which came as a direct result of their affiliation. Hardly a brain cell in her cranium which acted independently, she was known about campus as a bit of an air-head and would struggle to compile a case for her defense. Being beautiful was something which didn’t come so naturally to Isabelle, she had to work hard to look good for the boys and, if ever she couldn’t be located, chances were she was in the restroom applying touch-ups to keep her one step ahead of the game. She had always remained loyal to Betsy Jane but it was all a status thing as she was more than aware that the limelight followed her friend and desperately wanted a look-in.
“Personally I prefer my mom’s dildo. It don’t brag about its exploits”
Mandy Chesterfield had already slept with half of the school football team and despised the opposite sex. Her father had bolted when she was still a toddler and her alcoholic mother wasted no time reminding her that all men are inherently worthless and never call when they say their will. This theory had been proven time and time again although, considering her slack selection process, she attracted the deviants like mosquitoes to the flame. She had a filthy mouth which didn’t endear her to her friends’ parents and got her into many a fix at school. In the past month alone she had sat in on nine detentions but the fact that she spoke her mind gave Mandy her own chic status amongst her peers. This was a personal choice for her, she was fiercely literate but found cursing to turn more heads so plumped for crass.
“I haven’t heard a thing from Matty all evening. I’m telling you, he’s definitely cheating on me”
Lauren Cribbs was a chronic hypochondriac. The truth is, Matty was sleeping around and all the girls suspected as much. But she had driven him to the brink of infidelity through her constant paranoia alone. He was sixteen and in the prime of his life but Lauren already had his entire future mapped out and he had grown increasingly weary. She was the kind of girl who never used public toilets for fear of hepatitis B, seldom shared her milkshake in case a cold sore was transmitted, and invited contagion by washing so over-zealously that she had absolutely no tolerance to germs whatsoever. Usually the bearer of bad news, she had a particular fondness for shooting elaborate plans down in flames. Right now she was suffering from a rancid head cold.
“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”
Sabrina Whittaker was a self-proclaimed drama queen and constant attention seeker. She wasn’t as neurotic as Lauren but loved nothing more than being the center of attention. This was her shindig and she had been planning it for weeks now. Whilst not as naturally pretty as the other girls, her home was something of an open house, and that afforded her heightened popularity within the group. She invariably tried too hard to be liked and believed that tears and tantrums were the way to go to achieve this but, if she slowed her head down for a second, she would see that folk liked her anyway. She was quick witted, always offered good advice, and rarely let her friends down when they were in a fix. Turning sweet sixteen was an opportunity to throw the most exclusive soirée in the school calendar and that pleased her infinitely.
It was Friday October 31st, actually two days before her birthday but the ideal opportunity to lay on a slumber party and milk a little more adoration for being the first to reach this landmark. Both her parents had gone away for a long weekend in New York and had entrusted her with the house in their absence. She had laid on a real spread for the girls; marshmallow fluff, jelly beans, popping candy and 40% proof Russian vodka snuck from her father’s drink cabinet. The diet of queens. They had gathered at 7.30 and were now just a few minutes from the witching hour and slightly the worse for wear. The topic of conversation had started with boys and remained that way pretty much for the duration although Sabrina did have a horror film lined up to celebrate the festivities and they were busy arguing the toss as to whether to plump for Sinister or The Conjuring.
“It’s got to be Sinister. Two reasons; one, it’ll cause Lauren to shit her panties and two, it’s got Ethan Hawke in it and he’s sex on legs” Mandy made a fair point. “Nothing tops that freaking doll for me” Betsy Jane interjected “Have you seen the trailer for Annabelle yet? It looks really scary”. Isabelle was quick to jump to her BFF’s aid “Yeah. That looks messed up”. Mandy shook her head “Come on girls. You know they always show the best bits in the ads. I bet it’s a let down. Those kind of films always are”. Two for Sinister, two for The Conjuring; it was left to Lauren to cast the deciding vote “Personally I can’t see why we’re not watching Clueless. Do we really have to scare ourselves senseless?” A communal “yes!” rang out and she knew that she was fighting a lost cause “Okay. The Conjuring.”
This was met with a mixture of rejoice and jeers but Sabrina cut the rabble short by sliding it into the disc drive and dimming the lights. “I’ve seen this like fifty times already” Betsy Jane protested, not best pleased with not getting her own way. “Fifty one now” Sabrina replied flippantly, only too aware that a lack of decisiveness would invariably lead to them watching nothing at all. “Hold on. Stop the press” Lauren stood up in front of the television, an action which was greeted by a communal groan. “I would stop it hun but your fanny is blocking out the remote signal” Mandy jibed and the others fell about laughing. Sabrina was the least amused “What now?” She already had an idea what now as Lauren was renowned around school for possessing the bladder of a stunted shrew. “I got to pee. Sorry ladies.” Mandy emptied the jelly beans from their bowl “Why don’t you just piss in this? I’ll even squeeze your head for you” Cue more giggling among the ranks.
Lauren hobbled off to relieve herself. “Seriously” Sabrina started “that girl is a law unto herself. You do know she will take ten minutes meticulously laying squares of toilet roll before she even empties her barrow don’t you?” She flicked the lights back on and palmed her forehead in frustration. Isabelle rolled to the side and reclaimed the vodka. “Looks like we have time for another round of truth or dare” she proclaimed, to the pleasure of Mandy and Betsy Jane who were already three sheets to the wind. “I’ve got one for you” Mandy butted in, looking directly at Isabelle “have you ever frigged yourself with a garden vegetable?” she continued. “I’ll take the dare” Isabelle replied, knowing that she would never live down her stolen evening with an aubergine. “Okay. You have to strip off entirely and run to the bottom of the garden and back naked” Betsy Jane suggested. This was a far greater challenge than it seemed, given that Sabrina’s house was overlooked by the entire block but, considering Betsy Jane made the request and her judgement was already woefully impaired, she accepted the terms.
Isabelle dropped her pajama bottoms first and stepped out of them to rapturous applause from the other girls. She left her top until last as this needed a little more courage, considering she had a complex about her right breast being larger than the left. “Do I have to?” she pleaded, standing nude from the waist down. A resounding “yes!” sealed her fate and she unbuttoned her top rather reluctantly, discarding it and covering her wares as best as she could. “We’ve seen it all before in Phys Ed” Mandy reminded her. “That may be but Sabrina’s neighbors certainly haven’t” she retorted. Nevertheless, she may have been many things but prude wasn’t one of them and she strode to the patio door, counted to five, then ten, and set off into the darkness. It was no more than she expected when Sabrina hit the garden searchlights and illuminated her passage.
Lauren was upstairs, pondering what all the commotion was. She finished laying the final sheet of toilet paper and opened the bathroom window to keep up with developments downstairs. The hapless Isabelle had stalled halfway down the path after stepping on a snail and was wracked with guilt and disgust, while the other girls heckled from behind the patio. Her screams had alerted the unwanted attention of half the street, who were hanging from their windows catching an eyeful and cheering her on. Mortified, Isabelle grabbed the closest object in her proximity, a garden gnome, and covered herself as best as she could whilst completing her naked lap. The gnome was smiling, she wasn’t. What displeased her further was the fact that Mandy had produced her cell phone and was filming her exploits, presumably for blackmail purposes at a later date. “You rotten skank” she cried, hurriedly shuffling back to her starting point, while her friends clapped around her like excitable seals.
“Delete that now!” She insisted, desperately grabbing a handful of clothes and forcing both her legs into the same trouser hole. “Fuck” Isabelle was still trying not to laugh, buoyed by the exhilaration of what she had just achieved but annoyed at Mandy for exploiting her. “Chill your beans bitch. That was priceless. You are an absolute legend” Mandy reassured her. “That was pretty legendary Izzy” added Betsy Jane. “That’s all well and good but I don’t want the entire school seeing my kebab thank you very much” she barked, directing her assault solely at the camera. Behind the lens, Mandy couldn’t stop snickering. The truth was, she had no intention of sharing the Intel. This was just too classic not to be captured. “You’ll have to do another truth or dare to dig yourself out of this hole missy” she joked, to which Isabelle didn’t see the funny side. “I’ve got a truth for you whore” she said sternly “I dare you to not delete that right fucking now or you and I are coming to blows”.
Mandy did not make a habit of backing down due to idle threats. “Don’t you go getting pre-menstrual on me bitch” she hollered. The other girls were all aware of her short-fuse and Sabrina stepped straight in as peacekeeper. “Ladies. Lower your tampons” she requested. “Tell that cunt to get rid of that now” Isabelle insisted. This riled Mandy who saw the use of that word in her direction as meaning it was well and truly on between them. She lunged forward and this provoked reciprocation from her opposite number. Both Sabrina and Betsy Jane stepped between them and outright chaos broke out. Mandy was aiming punches around the cluster of bodies while Isabelle had her claws fully protracted and looking to claim themselves some scalp fluff. What was supposed to be a riot for completely different reasons had transformed into a full-blown fracas and it would have persisted had it not been for the chilling scream which suddenly rang out from upstairs, rendering every last one of the girls frozen to their spot.
Truly, Clearly, Really, Sincerely,
Keeper of the Crimson Quill
Copyright: Crimson Quill: Savage Vault Enterprises 2014