Matt Farnsworth: Better Living Through Chemistry

Suggested Audio Jukebox


[1] System of a Down “Science”

[2] Symphony X “Dehumanized”


How is it that the saying goes? Better living through chemistry right? I’m inclined to agree Grueheads. Science has always held a great degree of fascination to Keeper; even though I struggled in school to even fire up a Bunsen burner, I am very much aware of the benefits of embracing it. I’m not alone. You see, as we speak, somewhere in deepest Los Angeles; there is work afoot. I wouldn’t boast that I know my way around a periodic table but I am very much aware that every symbol is there on its own merit. It’s how you combine them that is important. For the past few months, Matt Farnsworth has been up to his biceps in test tubes while tinkering with the elements and editing The Orphan Killer: Bound X Blood. This man knows everything required to consider himself a scientist. However, he has never been interested in following curriculum and instead prefers to combine the contents of Tube A with those of Tube B, pull back his chair to a secure distance, and watch the fireworks. No safety goggles or protective gloves; just a pipette, petrie dish and a mischievous glint in his ocean-blue peepers as he conducts his experiments.

I first met Matt by way of Skype before jetting to LA to spend some time in his own personal laboratory. I still remember a conversation that we shared after our initial tete a tete. He informed me that some have been known to find him somewhat intense. While I was inclined to agree wholeheartedly with his claim, I found it absolutely compelling and wasn’t fazed in the least. You see, I was the one kid in Physics that managed to light myself up like Christmas decorations on account of unraveling a paper clip and inserting it into a live socket. As much as I was fortunate not to have been left a dribbling mess by my inane stunt, I did momentarily feel that surge. Of course, I don’t recommend anybody else attempting something so utterly ridiculous as I was saved by a circuit breaker on this occasion and it could have been a darned sight worse. However, the appeal of science became clear that day. For a second or so, as my hair began to resemble that of Thomas Dolby, I felt alive. Naturally, I was encouraged not to pursue a career in biochemistry but the electrified seed had been planted.

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Through any preliminary exchanges it became utterly clear that he was a man with a most devilish plan. I could discern as much through each interaction and that was when I discovered about the measured Madness of Matt Farnsworth. Here was a modern day Victor Frankenstein; a man who evidently paid attention during lectures while holding no desire to siphon rocket fuel through a filter funnel at any point during his future. Instead, he juggled a concept around that deliciously taut cranium of his and waited until the time was absolutely right before once again donning the lab coat. He had already seen successful results from fusing components and, in 2011, he finally breathed cruel life into his creation. His was a killer infused with crazy, indeed, it was overspilling. However, for as much as Marcus Miller wouldn’t think twice about performing vivisection on an upstanding member of the clergy, he had the smarts at his disposal to attend confessional directly afterwards and spill his heart out about such indiscretion. Did he exercise his right to vocalize this swirling madness? Yes he did, although Marcus was only ever interested in keeping it in the family.


Enter Audrey and, be honest, is there a man alive who hasn’t entertained that notion? I suspected as much, not a solitary hand. It may have appeared that a rather hefty burden was placed on her delicate shoulders that day in New Jersey as she dangled from barbed wire gauntlets and listened to his quibbles against a society that wronged him so. But Audrey was a smart cookie and, for all the vicious shackles that bound her, she was actually being set free. Her savage sibling didn’t push, okay perhaps he was a tad forceful, but he afforded baby sister the opportunity to come to her own decisions about where her loyalties laid. Blood runs deep, cruel blood deeper still, to the heart of the matter no less and then it keeps on flowing. Over time, the organ becomes tainted and attempting to reason will invariably provoke it into digging its grimy nails in all the more belligerently. Once you relinquish control and allow science to do its worst; the matter is taken out of your hands. Audrey fled her aggressor and returned to everyday life as it appeared her ordeal was now behind her. It wasn’t. Time passed, gestation was augmented, and four years farther down the line, voila. Bride of Frankenstein.

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At its blackened heart, that is exactly what The Orphan Killer represents; a modern day retelling of one of the classics of our time. While I’m not suggesting any incestuous behavior from either party, it is effortless to deduce that the siblings are, shall we say, close. However, not once does she mistake Marcus’s attempt at spooning as anything else than exactly what it is; big brother keeping her out of harm’s way. He’s been watching; make no mistake of that. Baby Sister can’t so much as take a soapy soak down without him passing her the loafer. But influencing her decision disinterests him. She’s a strong positive woman with the courage of her own conviction, therefore he knows only too well that she must come to any conclusion herself without him swaying her towards the dark side. In some ways, there’s a little Star Wars thrown in too although I’m fairly assured that Leia gave up the fanny before receiving the intelligence that Luke was, in fact, her brother. Skywalker knew all along; dirty little date rapist. The similarity is striking though, wouldn’t you admit? Herein lies the method in Matt Farnsworth’s madness Grueheads.

The dude knows how to fuse the elements. Like Keeper, he grew up in awe of the silver screen, drinking in film like a parched Viking and picking all the ripened cherries he could get his feelers on. A talent like his takes time to flourish and he has been biding it well, waiting for the correct time to fuse the elements into a tale of the macabre which celebrates each of its influences without once compromising its own exclusive identity. The Orphan Killer may appear to be a greatest hits of some of cinema’s most lionized folklore but it is far more than the sum of his parts. The reason for this is that he knows exactly where to take it. Wherever the hell he pleases and why shouldn’t he considering this has been his baby, nurtured from seed, through bleed, to the point it stands at now. Overlooking an entire generation of famished aficionados, crying out for a killer to hang their visors on. A slasher with two siblings; one savage, the other perfecting the art without procrastination. Both can communicate with one another through way of verbalization although the fact that they are twins means that they share one another’s pain and speak to one another without the necessity of wasting words. They are truly bound by blood.

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During one of my recent posts I touched on the fact that it is my wholehearted belief that the tail end of the decade is the one to watch. Certain filmmakers will begin bubbling to the head of the broth and Matt Farnsworth has been percolating beneath the surface for some time now. He lived through the eighties boom and, of course, that has informed his intention when hooking up the diodes and filling his monster with voltage. The time for him to release his findings is nearing fast; soon we will be exposed to a modern day monster movie just as intense as the man behind the notorious killer. I thank the heavens above and offer a quick nod downstairs also for our paths crossing as I have been a part of his science project and, six months on, I can still smell the formaldehyde. While I was in the presence of Marcus Miller and the cybernetic sex kitten that is Baby Sister, clutching all manner of paper clips I might add, I allowed myself to be blinded by his science. I will never again be quite the same and that comes as a great relief to a man who has every intention of tackling his trajectory rather than sitting in the stands his whole life like chump change.

Is there madness in Matt Farnsworth? Does a nun wash her hands after taking a dump? Fuck yes there is. I’ve known hatters less debauched. However, measured is the key word here and he is in control of said madness. He bottles it, labels accordingly, then reintroduces it to different strains and allows the results to speak for themselves. Seth Brundle was a scientist and, at some point, he was always likely to run out of expendable gibbons. Thus he climbed into transporter pod number one and made like Dr McCoy. For Seth, it all turned awry as there was a fly in his ointment. There are no such pests on Matt Farnsworth. He has taken a similar expedition as Brundle without ever compromising his DNA. The results will show how sane he was all along. Genius or madman? Both and with integrity and purpose. If anyone should inquire as to whether or not Keeper is balanced then I would assume the results to be outlandishly varied. The truth is that I don’t even know the answer to that question and neither do I wish to. But I do appreciate equilibrium. It’s the same with Matt Farnsworth and precisely the reason why The Orphan Killer: Bound X Blood will embrace all that is weird and wonderful about science and that, my beloved bleeders, is no fiction.


The Method of Madness


The flux capacitor is running on empty
This dark ambassador stocks fuel a plenty
The chemicals flowing will soon cause a surge
He’s aware and he’s knowing he’s provoking this dirge


The salt in his pillar is sour to the taste
The thoughts of his killer have long since been placed
His one baby sister now knows of such science
He showed her the vista should she choose compliance


Family never was something you choose
Sane thoughts not something you misplace or lose
Revenge is a dish best served with cheer and gladness
The method to such is infused in his madness


It’s dark and it’s fearsome it’s dripping with grue
It manifests here as the cruel blood runs through
We will have adhered soon results been revealed
They shall be revered soon as our fates are sealed



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To sins still to be committed…raise a chalice,


Sponsored by @TheOrphanKiller
Performances by @MattFarnsworth @DieannFoster
Cruel Art by @MattFarnsworth
Prose and scribing by @RiversofGrue
Copyright Full Fathom 5 Productions LLC. All Rights Reserved.



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