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Patricia had been walking for around an hour now and was completely lost in the woods. Since A.J. and Mike’s latest humiliation she had been positively seething but that anger had long since been replaced by trepidation and she had no idea of the route she had taken to arrive at her current destination. The surrounding trees appeared to know something she didn’t and the whistling wind was whispering her name with increasing intent. Moreover, she couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that she was being watched.
“If that’s you guys, you can fuck off and die. I’ve had it with your shit. You think I don’t know I’m overweight? You think I’m not reminded of that every fucking day? I get it, it’s hilarious…FOR YOU! How do you think it makes me feel?”
No response. Patricia was now choking back tears as she had taken about as much as she could take for one night. This was supposed to be a team building weekend but had turned into an exercise in further confidence knocking instead. A.J. and Mike had pushed her about as far as was humanly possible to endure and not a solitary person had thought to suggest that they were acting out of turn. That was the hardest blow. She expected Fat Pat from other kids at school but not from those who supposedly had her corner.
“I’ve had enough alright. It may be a joke to you but did you ever consider how it feels hearing it? I get that shit at school every day and expect it there. But you’re supposed to be my friends. I expect more from you”
There was now more than a vague hint of desperation in her voice as the sick feeling in her gut was rapidly growing stronger. Patricia had no idea whatsoever where she was and didn’t recognize any of her surroundings whatsoever. One thing was for sure, the welcome here was anything but warm. The batteries in her flashlight were running decidedly low and there was no other light source available to guide her through the thicket. Indeed, everywhere was starting to look worryingly similar. Spacial awareness wasn’t her strong suit, had it been then perhaps she would have noticed the hulking figure approaching from behind before its all-encompassing shadow fell over her. Given that A.J. and Mike’s combined weight was under 250 lbs, it didn’t take a great stretch to work out that this wasn’t them. Whatever was encroaching on her personal space had to be at least 400 bs plus change and its putrid breath told a story all of its own.
Patricia span around as fast as her body mass would allow and instantly her evening went from bad to worse. Olaf Lund was a sight that even the sorest eyes would find no solace in. He had been living out here in the wild for several months since his last bloodbath just a few clicks south of his current location. There was no humanity here, just feral instinct and an intense fascination with destroying all-comers. This was as easy as prey had come for Olaf as his opposite number simply froze under the gaze of his cruel headlamps, almost willing him to take decisive action. This was something that he was only to willing to facilitate and, after his last quarry managed to escape his clutches, there was no way he was going to let a chance like this go begging. Grabbing the young girl around her throat, he commenced to press his filthy thumbs into her larynx, sealing off her airwaves as he lifted her a full foot off the ground and continued tightening his grip.
Not satisfied once all seven of her cervical vertebrae had snapped under the pressure, he dug his grimy nails deep into the malleable flesh of her throat and grasped her fractured windpipe, wrenching her entire head free from its jagged fixture with his bare bloodied hands before hoisting it high like a trophy. Her twitching carcass dropped to the leaves by his feet and it was barely a second before the geyser began to gush from her gaping wound. Olaf took one final dead stare into her lifeless eyes and knew that any opportunity for whimsy had passed, so tossed it in the nearby foliage and retrieved the headless corpse for a well-earned feed. He wasn’t fussy about taste as there was more than enough blubber here to satisfy his growling belly and had a tendency to bolt his food. Of course, there had to be a keepsake and three of her fingers, from the knuckles down would look delightful hanging from his self-styled necklace of human surplus. Currently it facilitated a tongue, two eyeballs, half a penis, and a femur that he liked to lick for comfort. Patricia’s stumpy digits would feel right at home in such company.
“Don’t you think we should be out there looking for her?”
Being easily the most paranoid of the group, it seemed only right that Tania be first to flag up the obvious. Boyd just rolled his eyes as was customary whenever his girlfriend had her back turned as he’d just known it was coming. Reluctantly he got up and shuffled off to get his coat, glancing over to see what Edith was up to in the other room. She was getting a little cozy with his best friend Jack for his liking although he really didn’t have any reason to be jealous as both of them were free agents and he wasn’t.
“Jack? We’re going to search for Patricia, you coming?”
“Nah brother, think I’ll give this one a miss. Got some urgent matters here to attend to”
Fucking matters. Boyd was secretly seething about this potential hook up, particularly given that he was about to embark on a midnight mercy mission, thank to his depressingly insecure girlfriend. He snatched his coat and stomped back to join her, muttering under his breath the whole way.
“You think I should have gone with him?”
Edith thought he did precisely the right thing and wasn’t about to let this chance go begging. It wasn’t just about sex with Jack as she had been genuinely inspired by his reaction to losing his right leg in the accident.
“They’ll be fine”
Jack watched on as Tania and Boyd left through the front door and recalled how Boyd hadn’t vacated his bedside for the three days he’d spent in a coma.
“Come on. We should go”
“Should we though? I can think of at least one other thing we should be doing right now”
Jack’s mind was made up and he was already fastening his prosthetic limb, ready to go to his friend’s aid.
“Are you coming then?”
Of course she was. Edith would have followed Jack off a cliff so there was no doubting her commitment to the cause. That said, she still hung things out for s long as was possible, in the vain hope that he would reconsider. He didn’t.
A couple of hundred yards from the cabin, Holden and Tamara were having their own private party and this involved Tamara’s legs being at full mast while Holden plundered her fortress in the cramped confines of his Volkswagen camper van.
“Did you hear that Tam?”
“Stop talking. Keep fucking”
“Hold up, let me just have a look-see”
“Really? I’m about thirty seconds from cumming and you wanna go sightseeing?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Keep your shirt on”
Actually, Holden’s oversized baseball top was all she had on right now, and her panties hadn’t even made it to the van. He drew back the curtain and peered out the vehicle’s rear window, spotting Tania and Boyd traipsing off into the thicket.
“Looks like the others are going out for something”
“That’s marvelous for them. Now, if you don’t mind sticking that back inside me, I really couldn’t give less of a fuck about nature rambles”
“I need a piss anyway”
“Jesus Holden. You ever heard the term passion killer?”
“It’s the call of the wild. I am, after all, but a man”
“The jury’s still out on that one buddy”
Holden wrestled his baggy denims up and waddled to the van’s rear exit, dashing to the nearest tree to relieve himself while Tamara sat there with legs still wide open, disinterested in whether or not any lucky wildlife or passing vagrants received an eyeful. She knew full well that A.J. and Mike called her “The Dumpster” and actually wore the slag tag with pride. As long as she was getting fucked tonight, nothing else mattered particularly although she wasn’t best pleased about being left alone, even for just a few seconds.
“Hurry up Holden”
“I can’t go”
“Well you’d better find a way or else the rabbit gets to finish me off and you know how rampant he gets”
If ever Tamara needed to make Holden feel inadequate, this battery-operated widow’s comforter was only ever a button press away and he detested this emasculating golden tool more than anything else on the wretched planet. It was bad enough that Tamara had already ridden half of the town and that a pussy which should boast a fair degree of elasticity was already starting to resemble a wizard’s sleeve. But playing second fiddle to a rabbit just wasn’t on, no matter how rampant it might be. With the urination process taking no great strides towards done and Tam turning the screw while making it quite clear that he was absolutely replaceable, Holden gazed off ahead for a second’s respite and instantly spotted movement about a hundred yards from his coordinates. He squinted in an attempt to make it out but had no idea what the fuck he was looking at. Whatever it was, it was abnormal in size, looked some way from hospitable, and mercifully didn’t yet appear privy to his distant presence.
Indeed, Holden was so mesmerized by this strange visitation that he failed to control his stuttering flow and pissed all over his sneakers. The unknown quantity appeared to be making its way round to the rear of the cabin and certainly didn’t look docile in the slightest.
“I’m coming. Keep it down will you”
Holden’s concentration wasn’t exactly tip-top at present, as attested by the clutch of pubic hair he snagged in his zipper upon re-entry. Wincing uncomfortably, he shook both feet off in the nearby mulberry bush, before making his way back to the van with a fair deal more haste than previously.
“There’s some weird fucker out there Tam”
“Yeah well there’s a horny fucker in here in case you haven’t noticed and getting a lot less horny by the second”
“I’m telling you, something’s going down”
“I can see”
“Will you just be serious for one second please?”
“Will you just take off the vagina you’re harvesting and do your duty already?”
That was pretty much what sex was to Tamara, every man’s duty and her pleasure. This transaction didn’t need to be complicated in her eyes, just the exchange of bodily fluids and shits and grins all round. However, Holden held all the cards currently as his wide girth was precisely what she needed to stave off the boredom. She hadn’t wanted to come here in the first place and only agreed to it so she could add Holden to her ever-bloating list of conquests. Having heard all about his sexual prowess from the girls’ locker room, he possessed all the qualifications he needed. Now if she could just get him to work on his attention deficit, she’d be on her penultimate cum face by now, as opposed to her increasing bemusement face.
“Holden? Last chance saloon”
To assist things along a little, Tamara activated her rampant rabbit as she knew this would provoke a response.
“Turn that fucking thing off will you”
“Whether you can fill in for it”
Gargantuan unidentified mountain man or no gargantuan unidentified mountain man, Holden was more than aware that he was on the third strike and slammed the van’s rear so they could reconvene.
“I’m so fucked up right now”
“I know right? It’s called White Widow. The best yields in state”
A.J. always came through with the weed and had outdone himself on this occasion. Mike laid back with both arms outstretched behind him and maximized the buzz for all it was worth. The pair weren’t going anywhere in a hurry and, since Bethany had Dean were upstairs talking, that left these hopeless stoners on cabin watch duties. This was an obligation neither one of them took lightly. Was it fuck! Right now Olaf could break the rear door down, growling his foul intent, and neither one of them would likely stir from their voluntary coma. Boyd hadn’t even bothered asking them whether they fancied taking part in the search and rescue mission as he knew them better than that. The bong was their deity and currently it was fully loaded and primed for another toot.
A.J. went first as he was the man with the bag of tricks and therefore the closest to a leader this brace of boneheads had. After sucking in a significant toke to the point of cheek dimples, he passed it along to his associate, who wasn’t quite as graceful with his ingestion. Mike instantly began hacking and his compadre was quick to point out the joy within the pain.
“That’s it. Open those capillaries. Gets you higher”
“Brother, I’m not sure it gets any higher you know”
“Told you I’d get you fucked up”
“You’ve outdone yourself sir”
Neither A.J. or Mike had noticed the face staring down at them from the window above their position. Olaf’s was hardly the prettiest of mug shots to bear down on you and his fingers were starting to twitch at his side as she figured out what he was going to do to these two sitting ducks just a few moments from now.
While A.J. and Mike were downstairs failing miserably in their bid to hold the fort, Dean was hardly doing a bang up job of keeping his ear to the ground upstairs. Given that he was almost legally deaf, he wasn’t exactly the best person for Bethany to have around as she poured her heart out to him about her despondency over still being a virgin. Actually, the word virgin he heard loud and clear and Dean was grateful for the selective hearing he did have at his disposal. It had been a decent night thus far as Jack’s lack of team spirit had pleased him massively and he despised Boyd with all the passion he had. However, he had a feeling he was barking up the wrong tree with Bethany as she was known for being the most frigid girl in school and didn’t appear ready to surrender that mantle tonight.
“Why don’t you sleep in with me tonight?”
“I don’t think so Dean do you?”
“I promise I won’t try anything”
“You must think I was born yesterday”
“I mean it. We can just talk if you like. I’ll even sleep on the floor”
“Yeah until the middle of the night when you try it on”
“Boy scout’s honor”
“You wasn’t a boy scout Dean”
“I will be tonight. Promise. No funny business, just company”
“Alright but I’m going to take a shower first. Don’t go getting any ideas”
“How long are you gonna be?”
“Fifteen? What are you shooting a shampoo commercial or something?”
“You’re lucky I’m even trusting you”
“Alright, well I’m going to go take a walk. I’ll give you a knock when I get back”
“But it’s gone midnight. What’s the point?”
“Just need to clear my head”
“You’re still simmering about Boyd aren’t cha?”
“I’m telling you, that boy is heading for a slap”
“I don’t know why you let him get to you so much”
“Whatever. I’ll be back okay?”
“Fine. Knock yourself out. I’ll be here”
Dean headed off downstairs, ignored resident gargoyles A.J. and Mike, and made his way out of the rear door, which was perhaps the least savvy move imaginable, given what was lurking in the undergrowth just a few feet from his position. Olaf had performed any necessary reconnaissance and was now ready to crank the heat up some. Things were about to grow decidedly messy.
Click here to read Numbers Game
Truly, Really, Clearly, Sincerely,
Richard Charles Stevens
Keeper of the Crimson Quill
Copyright: Grueheads Films 2016
I think I will bet on Holden, Tamera and Bethany this round.
A natural gambler I see. You currently have $600 to play with so this could be a big pay-out if it pays off…
Are we allowed to bet on Olaf to survive til the next round? If so, do I have the funds to add him to my list. I like to live dangerously 😉
Nice try but alas Olaf is kind of guaranteed immunity for the time being so it will have to be a no. Cheeky little scamp. 😛
Boogers. I could see Tamara’s lady parts sucking him up and in, never to be heard from again. 😂
I just got a mental picture. That is a story and a half all on its own.
Maybe she will survive and you can tell it
I’m still betting on Tania to survive to the next round not to sure about Boyd. I think he just might be minced meat soon. Lol
Consider it done. By my estimations, your $500 is now $600 so you’re off to a stellar start.
After giving the matter hours of full deliberations, ugh I hope I’m right. 😱 I am on the edge of my seat, er, wheelchair on this one…. I have used my knowledge of Olaf 😈 and have profiled all of the characters, including that wacky narrator and what he himself would like us to think. 😂
Fuck it, here goes nothing…
This could go one of two ways. Either you’ll be quids in and have the available funds to have your nipples gold plated or licking postage stamps for the next three months for your only source of nourishment. Not long now until we find out. 😉
GAH!!! Originally it was Tania, Bethany and Jack, but the unlucky SOB Holden kept jumping out at me, so I scratched Bethany for him. This is absolute fucking BLAST!!!!!
It’s great to see that it is bringing so much joy. This is precisely why I do what I do.