Fortunately Outrageous is written under the persona, greykeeper, and delivered through dual tongue. While an accumulation of both light and shade, this character leans heavily towards the latter, to cater for those with a hankering for prose of a darker persuasion. Title art is by Aaron Lovett. 

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Heart “Crazy On You”

If it is true what they say
That fortune favors the brave
Then we may have quite the pay-day coming to us
With courage running through our veins and backing up conviction
Will take more than forced submission to subdue us

Ruination was the running theme
This castration obscenely keen to geld us of our obesity gene and feast upon our skin and bones
Inconceivably mean as it made inland roads to the lighted zone where our chromosomes roam
With eyes on memorizing our genetic code to see this keen intelligence disowned

The instant that the cyclone hit we knew we had our work cut out were we to reroute this tumultuous twister
Our path was littered with kickers and before we could log in to Twitter
Reality got shitty with us
Bit us on the ass

What this heavy hitting shit twister neglected to consider is that all the while it dithered our libel case was gaining pace and ballpark figure growing ever bigger
Not a jury with a fury that would pass decree dogmatically on evidence convened, raven delivered

We swore our solemn oath and both damn well meant it
No need for suited shark to represent us
Each time they prevented us from stating our dissent
We bent their ears to fit our plea
And halved our sentence

Just to mix shit further up, we leveled up
Assigned skill points to speechcraft and to luck
To make a lady of the night
No mere strangers in the night
As we exchanged each glance for ranged advance
Locked in our coordinates like the unruly subordinates we are
Then rerouted the torpedo with a fair air of rapido and worked this scowling scud to charmed advantage

Red October hit us hard and clothed us both in battle scars
Thus, we parted hard from the human skins we’d been captured within as we ventured forth into December
Got by with a little help from our friends, the stars
Didn’t give a bent fender for any misspent agenda
As the scented truth tendered was redundant to all ten of our senses

Relentlessly and senselessly, they sent us into entropy
And randomly we gathered chi
With not a word of caution, outrageous fortune then came galloping towards us like a headless horseman
This resulted in positive reinforcement as we had fully endorsed both reform and performance
Of course, that course in cognitive contortion helped enormously
Our minds may not be spotless but they emit banned rays of eternal sunshine gorgeously
Besides, we’ve since achieved degrees in living loud and proud through chemistry with the science of sleep as our major

If it is true what they say
You know, that fortune favors the brave
Then we deserve a fuck ton for coming all this way to have our say
Not to say we remained unscathed as fortune may well favor braveness
But it can still blow up in faces once we trip the wires of our own laces
As for perpetual stasis, this had proved ineffectual to a pair of redressed intellectuals for whom intrepidness is perennial
Besides, by our calculations
We were one new moon away from celebrating our latest magisterial centennial

Now, that was back at the midpoint of May
And needless to say, there have been a fair few changes since cleaning out our closet space and gaily rearranging
Staging more comebacks than tax demands
Reigning in the drawbacks as we send arranged fates facsimiles
Just to make it abundantly clear that we no longer live in fear and loathing
That we must lead the charge as shooting stars do lust for roaming

Speaking of which, we really oughta saddle up and make some luck
Have made enough to see us good
And should this not prove understood
Then please do not go cowling thy face beneath mourners hoods
As human life has much to offer
Indeed, the handsome many proffer
But what of the unsightly few?
The ones they have no clue what to do with

If it is true what they say
That fortune favors the brave
Then we possess riches some way outrageous
As far as our contagion goes, we’re up there with tuberculosis and the flow that we disclose is one of rampage and psychosis
Just so happens that one of us recently mastered the art of appropriate dosage

Always thinking see
Sipping on sap from the great Wisdom tree
Lapping the salt from the sea
Thinking of new improved ways to launch a full scale assault on the faceless remains of our breed

Open up your mind’s eye nice and wide and you will see that we supply all the empowerment you could ever need to break free of ties that bind
If the blind do lead the blind
Then we have sightless faith that, as the proverb states, fortune does favor the brave
We’re about to boldly go where no pre-programmed drone or clone of Uncle Sam has boldly gone before us
You may despise the very chrome of our bones
But then, you might just learn to adore us
Think of us as your own personal Thesaurus

But ignore us at your peril as these two lepers dress like regular folk
And ain’t about to choke on fumes exhumed from the waiting room
May just join the debating team as there’s a free space in our calendar before next period

There is nothing like a shot of conspiring theory
When clearly it’s deriving from the uttermost delirium
Blink and you will miss us but we’ll still be here when you open your eyes
Hoping to pry inside those immaculate minds, supplying a timely rewire
Takes a pair of brave neurosurgeons to attempt a procedure no comforting stranger to danger

Thank holy fuck then for good fortune
As that shit owed us a favor
And we will gladly pay this forward through admittedly disturbed behavior

To reiterate – no longer do we live in fear and loathing
And these wandering stars we do so lust to roam
For we have made the universe our home
And now, we really must be going

Richard Charles Stevens

Keeper of The Crimson Quill

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