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Breaking Charade

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Nine Inch Nails  “Somewhat Damaged (Instrumental)”

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So many reasons to hate on myself
And not a one was valid
Some way from perfect and comfortable with that
But I do know of my strengths and can ensure you they are massive

Don’t call me a lion for nothing
My heart is so much more than the obligatory stuffing
Serenading weigh in with the aim of inside trading
Those composing symphony for every time the beat starts fading
So many reasons to hate on myself
And every one of them charade

The thing about rock bottom is the only way is up from there
Set to quit respectfully, with nothing left fit to declare
All around me vacant stares, music stopped and no more chairs
Pointed fingers cocking triggers
Spitting vipers splitting hairs

Fitting end?
I beg to differ
Every reason to feel bitter
Seen by some as guilty sinner
Throwaway as kitty litter

Thrombosed, this one-time witty speaker
Cut the shape of a pitiful creature
Needed me a preacher although not a man of cloth
Too many commandments
Greedy grunters at the troth
If the only way was up then I was double done with all this dross
Time to dance in darkness like the boss

If it takes two to make it out of sight
Then I was not inclined to die this night
One white rabbit running wild
All it took to ace this trial
Took a leap of faith and blind
Suddenly the ache subsided

Wasted no time in confiding
Where my deepest soul resided
Spent my whole damn life in hiding
Days and nights spent plain surviving
Not a clue that I’d denied a part so true to rise high-tide
All that it required was that second pair of eyes to see
Solve the ancient puzzle that was me

Feed that back and cut the slack I lacked back at inaction
No more apt a pupil than when dutiful to traction
Gestapo had the clamps on but could see I wasn’t cracking
Static buzzed, thus I adjusted tracking

So many reasons to love myself
And every last one valid
Heart unchained
I break the reins maintained by lifetime habit
One white rabbit running wild
All it takes to ace the trial
Chasing dreams long since forsaken
Making peace to reawaken

Richard Charles Stevens

Keeper of The Crimson Quill

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