Slasher

Suggested Audio Candy:

Depth Charge “Dead By Dawn”

I’ve slaughtered seven people over the course of this evening. If that doesn’t grab me front page headlines then I’m clearly wasting my time. I’ve tried my hardest to be inventive as I don’t wish to be known as a copycat killer devoid of ideas. I’ve even mixed things up with my murder weapons; two with an axe, one via chainsaw, three with my trusty hunting knife and the other using my bare hands. By and large I’ve followed the rules although, on a couple of occasions, I have defied them so as not to be pigeonholed or regarded as by-the-numbers. I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into standing out from the crowd and now I am left with a solitary victim to perforate. It’s not a final girl; that just seemed clichéd. Instead I have opted to leave the most hateful protagonist for last and I have the most despicable dispatch planned for him. He’s cowering away in the master bedroom as we speak; too afraid to show his face and fight like a man. Once I have finished with him; I plan to disappear back into the shadows and bide my time until which point as word gets around.

You see, I’m in it for the adulation. It could have been entirely different had anybody paid the slightest attention to my numerous previous endeavors. For years I worked my fingers to their very bones and for what? Nothing. Ultimately everyone just wants to stand out and I gave that my best shot acting honorably. Did anybody pat me on the back and tell me I had done a good job? Nobody in over twenty years of full-time employment. I worked all the overtime available to me and put my back into every single thing I done with not so much as a single pay rise. I guess some people are just destined to fall through the cracks of society and nothing they can do will turn the tide. At some point it is only natural that I would become disillusioned and, at that juncture, the decision was made for me. I decided to become a cold callous killer; gain recognition and the respect of my peers by fair way or foul. I chose foul as fair clearly wasn’t working out for me.

Do I regret any of my actions? Not even; I’ve lived with constant regret my whole life and ultimately I’ve just been kidding myself that anybody has actually given a shit. When the time comes to receive my judgement I will do so with a clear conscience. If the world can find it so effortless casting me aside; why should I feel remorse for my actions? I know what you’re saying right now; seven teenagers snuffed out at the prime of their lives. What kind of monster does such a thing? The truth is that I am no different from any one of you; the difference is that I have the courage of my convictions and the balls to do something about my circumstances. I rest easy at night thank you; should I receive the opportunity to do it all over then there isn’t a damn thing I would change. Blood runs through my veins in exactly the same manner as it does with anybody else. It’s just that mine runs a lot colder than most. So fucking sue me and if you’re on your soapbox right now cursing my nonchalance toward ending the lives of a few sniveling kids; what gives you the right to judge anyway?

All things considered; I could have been a lot meaner. I granted a swift demise to most of my victims; except for the chick with the chainsaw, she had it coming. I’d been eavesdropping on conversations the whole evening from a secure vantage; listening in intently so as to suss out my pecking order. This one buxom young co-ed, Kristen her name was, really irked my chain. If there’s one thing I despise more than anything it is those who are not thankful for the opportunities presented them in life. She was one such infidel; more concerned with spewing vitriol than having a kind word to say about anyone. She moved from group to group, playing one against the other. It made me sick to my gut and that is why I selected the messiest tool in my shed as my weapon of choice when taking this shit-talking bitch out. I even made it slow; took a moment to drink in her screams and watch her shrink like the violet she truly was. I may have gotten a little carried away to be fair; long after her shrill shriek had subsided I carried on carving until there was no longer gas in the tank and I was left with an almighty clean-up job. Not my problem.

My crowning moment would have to be the one I offed with the very hands God gifted me; the ones that were supposed to get me to where I really wanted to be in life before life decided it had other ideas. It’s remarkably easy crushing a larynx; you just have to know where to apply the pressure. I’m not sure what was the most fun; watching the life drain from his pupils or riding his corpse as it commenced its death rattle. It’s a toss-up between the two. Afterwards I felt invigorated; anyone can clock up the kills if they have the correct tools at their disposal but precious few can achieve the desired result using two thumbs. I think this was the moment when the realization set in that I may just have what it takes to get ahead in the business. It’s amazing what a little boost can do for one’s self-esteem. Suddenly I was my own boss; it mattered not whether I received any credit as I much preferred working freelance to clocking in each morning with the rest of the non-entities just to be woefully underpaid at the end of each calendar month.

My hunting knife has had a decent run-out too. Its serrated jaws are ideal for cutting through cartilage and, as effective as the axe may be, it’s capable of far less precision. You just can’t beat the subtlety of a hand-held blade; you know where you are with each strike. On all three occasions I commenced with a debilitating blow to some place non-lethal; namely the thighs. After severing the correct nerves and leaving your dupe paralyzed; it buys you the time to truly revel in what you are doing. A couple of well-placed digs to the abdomen and you’re suddenly on a timer. No killer wishes for his subject to bleed out before the final hurrah; we need a captive audience as that is what we have been denied all these years. Why else do you think we do what we do? It’s because all else has already failed. It’s commonly questioned whether somebody who ends another life is actually born corrupted; I’m inclined to agree that certain apples just land farther from the tree but it’s ignorance that ultimately triggers our actions. I could have lived until a ripe old age none the wiser as to my true psychological make-up; but the system failed me as it does with so many.

If you plan to make an omelet then eggs are going to need to be sacrificed. I had no personal vendetta against these particular teenagers; they were simply in the wrong place at exactly the wrong time. It just helped that they were all so obnoxious. If you ask me, the youth of today have their priorities all out of whack. I was raised to appreciate what I had but, somewhere along the line, that sentiment has appeared to diminish. It’s not the only standard to have dropped; when I was growing up second base was considered a significant milestone, whereas now, it’s nothing to write home about. I saved my trusty axe for the eventuality that two of these frisky teens would engage in promiscuous sex; strike two for the hatchet. It needed to be something swift and decisive as we’re talking of two dispatches in quick succession. If you time it right and wait until one is straddling the other then you achieve the ultimate accolade: the full undivided attention of victim number two with not a damned thing they can do about it. Mine was a doozy; the first strike was directed to the back of the skull, buying ample time to ponder my next move. The subsequent kill was far more gratifying as I could take my foot off the gas a little and apply a more personal touch. Axe seemed like a no-brainer; where a hunting knife would take forever carving through the bone, if you put your back into it, then you can separate most joints in one fell swoop.

Anyway, I feel like I am giving away too many trade secrets here and every second I procrastinate is another my final patsy has to facilitate his escape. No one lives; that’s the condition I adhere to. Should he wriggle from my grasp when I evidently have him on the ropes then I will become a laughing-stock amongst my peers and nobody will take me seriously. I don’t want to be nearly man; spent an eternity already almost gaining recognition for my endeavor. I see this as my chance to finish like a professional and as I mean to go on. I’ve used axe, knife, chainsaw and brute strength but, while all were satisfying to an extent, I still feel as though I’m only one kill away from my best. That’s when you know you have the minerals to advance in your field; when anything less than perfection is simply failure. I think the drill has waited long enough for an introduction. Yes, the drill. It positively has to be the drill. It’s cordless and recently charged which should enable a decent enough duration. Moreover, it inflicts damage in a concentrated enough area to ensure that the eyes become the prize. I shall bore them back into his skull; just shallow enough to encourage percolation. Then I’ll work his kneecaps; but my work will still be far from over.

I think I may just wing it from that point onwards and see what springs to mind. I mustn’t appear predictable and it is vital that I show my ability to think on the move. Anyone can plan a murder; but not everyone can murder a plan. I’m bidding for the very apex of my profession; shooting for the stars and taking no substitute for success. You’ll see; right now you have formed your own opinion but, by the time I’ve finished with my magnum opus, you’ll have surrendered to the inevitability of my rise amongst men. I know what’s going through those simple little minds as we speak; has he got that certain something? Can he actually aspire to greatness or is he just a pile of sorry nothings? Stick around and you’ll find out; leave and I’ll track you down. That’s how this works you see. I’m looking for fresh meat and have had my eye on you for some time. Besides, you know too much. I’m afraid it has to be this way; I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. Fret not; you will have plentiful time to prepare for my visit as I plan to keep a low profile for at least a couple of weeks. Live a little; make the most of your time. Join a club maybe or do something you wouldn’t ordinarily dream of doing. Life is a gift after all; I’ve just always found more fun to had in receiving.

I…don’t…fucking…believe it. He’s got away. That whining, snot-clogged little prick has managed to pry open the window and slide through to safety. My grand finale has been robbed from me. This is your fault; I blame you for this. While I’ve been stuck here with you explaining my next move; he’s been doing the exact same thing You know what really needles me? That you didn’t see fit to let me in on that intelligence. Thought you were sitting on the fence didn’t you? Well I’ve got news for you; exclusive conclusive motherfucking news. I’ve had a change of heart you see. It just doesn’t seem right to sit back when my reputation is being tarnished. No lying low; no consolidation. Those times have passed. You sealed the speed of your fate the moment you saw fit to guard me from facts. You had better prepare yourself. Lock your door, find yourself something to protect yourself with. In the grand scheme of things, it won’t matter one iota. You knew all along what I am capable of so you only have yourself to blame. Why are you still here wasting your precious last few breaths? Think I may have a change of mind? Wrong. There’s no reasoning with pure evil. Haven’t you learned that by now? Foolish… most foolish. Enough of these wasteful words; I’m coming for you right now.