Suggested Audio Candy

 

Nature “Underworld”

 

 

Patsy and Bijou had been searching the thicket about a mile from the cabin for the past half hour now and still hadn’t located a single thing even vaguely resembling a mushroom, magic or otherwise.

“Do we even know they’re in season Pats?”

“I didn’t check. Sorry”

“Think it may be time to give up the ghost hun. Even if we do find anything, do you actually know how to identify them? I don’t fancy frying up poisonous fungi”

“Would it anger you if I said no?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me at all. But anger me…nah. I actually quite like it out here”

“Me too it’s serene. Shall we just give up?”

“You got the blanket?”

“In my backpack yes”

“Fuck it. Lay that shit out and I’ll roll us a joint. Got some of that bud left. What say we just lay out under the stars and get high together”

“Sounds like bliss”

Bijou had come out of the closet at the first available opportunity whereas, for Patsy, despite knowing her mind, it was still something she wasn’t ready to make public. Their small circle of friends had their suspicions and a few of the other kids at school raced to assumptions on the basis that the pair had been practically inseparable since eleventh grade but they were biding their time, at least until they started college. Patsy’s parents were strict authoritarians and practically disowned her older sibling Josh when he announced that he was gay. She wasn’t ready for the repercussions but, away from prying eyes, she was utterly infatuated with Bijou and not once guarded with her feelings.

“How about here darling?”

Patsy dropped her rucksack on the damp leaves and began to prepare their love pad.

“Perfect”

Just as Bijou was rifling through her belongings for rolling papers, her cell began to vibrate in her jacket pocket, rudely interrupting their romantic interlude.

“It’s Naomi. Shall I just ignore it?”

“Better answer it. For all we know, Mitch has finally plucked up the courage to date rape Cerina and it’s all going off back there”

Reluctantly she pressed the green button, as tempted as she was to go for red.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Naomi”

“Gathered that. Caller ID sweets. We live in an exciting new age”

“I need you guys to come back here”

“Why? What’s going down?”

“I’m not sure yet. Maybe nothing”

“You’re not stating your case very well Noms”

“Look I think we may have a prowler. Cerina saw something at the window and she’s pretty freaked. Mitch is thinking of packing up”

“For fuck’s sake. We’ve only just got here”

“I know it sucks. But she’s in a real state here. Rancid Monkey are playing tonight at Oakley’s, if we’re quick we may still catch them”

“Rancid Monkey suck assholes”

“Just come back please”

“Whatever”

Bijou hung up the call and returned the handset to her pocket.

“We going back then?”

“Hell no. She can kiss my pierced clit if she thinks I’m leaving our spot. Let them sort that shit out, it’s probably Cerina just playing the drama queen”

“Well we don’t want them leaving without us”

“They won’t. Let’s have a joint, relax, go back in a bit”

She stepped up to Patsy and began nibbling her neck line, knowing this drove her absolutely wild.

“You had me at pierced clit honey”

 

________

 

 

Mitch had decided that now was the time to cash in on his alpha male status and perform the obligatory sweep of the area. Needless to say, he wasn’t about to undertake such a precarious mission solo, so he had woken Kevin from his drunken slumber to accompany him.

“I was in a real deep sleep you know”

“Yeah at ten thirty on a Friday night. You’re such a wuss. Who taught you how to drink anyway?”

“Look at you coming off all Oliver Reed. Unless I’m mistaken, the last time you braved the tequila you ended up running around the football field butt naked”

“I had socks on”

“Which just made it all the more ridiculous. So how are things coming along with Cerina? She knocked you back yet?”

“I’ll have her bagged by midnight”

“If she could hear you now Mitch. You make her sound like deli ham”

“She’s more spam than ham. But I shall conquer that mountain and plant my flag at the summit”

“Maybe a white flag”

“You’re just jealous”

“Of you? Don’t make me laugh, it gives me a cramp”

“”Well we were getting pretty cozy a few minutes ago before Naomi’s puerile attempts at cock-blocking me and this whole prowler bullshit”

“Keep dreaming son”

“Says Rip van Winkle over here”

“So what exactly are we supposed to be searching for anyway?”

“I don’t know exactly. She saw a face at the window and that’s about all we’ve had out of her. She’s genuinely spooked though”

“Well it don’t look like anyone’s here now”

Let’s check round the back”

“You just want to cop an eyeful of Teri-Ann and Derrick going at it”

“I think they’ve crashed out. We called them but they didn’t answer. Figured we’d let them rest after all that copulation”

“Great. So you wake me up instead”

“What good would Derrick be if he had just shot his load?”

“What good is he before he shoots his load?”

“Exactly. I’d rather have my wingman by my side when checking out creepy sounds outside a cabin in the deep woods”

“I’m your wingman? How delightful. This is just like Top Gun, only crossed with The Evil Dead”

“Quiet a second”

“What is it Mitch?”

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Over there behind that thicket. Something’s over there. Listen”

The sound of twigs snapping underfoot continued.

“It’s probably a jackal or something”

“Big-assed jackal if you ask me. Pass me that”

Mitch grabbed the flashlight from his friend and began to hone in on the source of the audio.

“Maybe we should just go back inside”

“Sure Kev. Make sure the door don’t hit you on the vagina on the way back in”

“Cerina’s not here you know. You don’t have to show your stripes. Let’s just get out of here. I’m not feeling this”

“Pass me that ax will you?”

“What ax?”

“There. Come on. Quickly”

Mitch pointed to a rusted woodsman’s ax rested against the side of the building. His uncle had taught him how to swing one the summer before last and he was starting to suspect that he may well be needing it soon.

 

 

“This thing looks blunt”

Kevin passed him the ax.

“It’ll do”

Mitch used the handle to draw aside the overhang and wasn’t prepared in his most lurid nightmares for the sight which greeted him.

“Oh my God”

“What is it?”

Kevin was far more comfortable bringing up the rear, from pressed up against the shack several yards back.

“I don’t know but it’s supremely messed up. Looks like a jackal alright. Or at least part of one”

“Roadkill?”

“A kilometre from the nearest tarmac. I highly doubt it gallantly made its way here in its present condition Kev. It’s been ripped to pieces by the look of it”

“Well don’t touch it. It might be diseased”

“Believe me. I have no intention of doing that”

“So that must have been what Cerina saw then?”

“I think Cerina saw whatever championed this shit. I agree that it may be a good time to go inside now”

“You think a bear did this?”

“Tell you what, Why don’t you ask me that when we’re back in the cabin”

Mitch kept the ax on him for safekeeping and the pair set off back to the front entrance to join the girls who were congregated by the window awaiting news. They never actually made it to the rear of the building on their expedition. Had they done so, then they would have witnessed a scene which made the shredded jackal look positively PG-13. Teri-Ann and Derrick had at least concluded their sweaty session before he was torn asunder by Olaf Lund’s bare hands. He had left via the bedroom window to retrieve post-coitus smokes and a mildly satisfied Teri-Ann had fallen asleep awaiting his return. He never even made it to the car. It would be hard to identify his remains as the mountain man had been thorough when breaking every rib in his cage and plucking free his bloody heart. After deciding he wasn’t enamored with its taste he had tossed the remainder of the vessel into the nearby bushes before commencing on feasting from the lad’s biceps and thighs. In true Olaf fashion, he had obtained a few keepsakes. Derrick’s eyeballs and surrounding optical nerves had pride of place in his left hand while his right contained the boy’s femur which was being licked clean in full view of the bedroom window. Evidently Teri-Ann was a particularly heavy sleeper.

 

________

 

 

Patsy was laying back watching the night stars through frantically fluttering eyelids, while Bijou’s resourceful tongue flicked between her sopping thighs at the tail end of the blanket. Bijou’s superior knowledge in the field of cunnilingus was being put to sterling use and Patsy felt prime to explode when her lover’s cell again started to chime.

“You want me to get that?”

Bijou released the pressure momentarily.

“Fuck no. Keep going. I’m gonna cum hard for you baby”

Patsy never would have dreamed of speaking so frankly a year ago but right now wasn’t the time for incoming calls.

“As you wish”

Bijou tossed the cell aside and it landed face-up on NAOMI CELL.

“I love the taste of your honey honey”

“I love you”

Those precious few moments before the floodgates open were proving remarkably honest. Patsy had never before used those three words but she meant them passionately, impending multiple orgasm or no impending multiple orgasm. Bijou smiled wide, whilst still applying the full force of her tongue to her sodden center point. There seemed no need for a generic response and she didn’t believe in giving to receive although her own panties were bunched up inside of her at the prospect of receiving her very own full service straight after finishing up quenching Patsy’s quim. For Patsy this would mark her first outing with same-sex oral but she was more than ready to hit the ground running.

“Ugh. Yes. Fuck. Fuuuuck”

“Cum for me kitten”

“Oh God. Yes”

Patsy’s thighs tightened around Bijou’s face and this just forced her tongue deeper. Using one hand to hold herself steady, she slid the other into Patsy’s and the pair entwined digits as the first wave of tantalizing pleasure washed over. Beside the writhing pair, the cell continued to flash but they were no closer to giving a shit about it.

 

________

 

 

 

“They’re still not picking up Mitch”

“Well somebody oughta wake the other two so we can get our shit together and get out of here. Keep trying her number”

No sooner had Mitch finished relaying his orders, than an almighty smash rang out from the master bedroom, followed by an ungodly guttural shriek.

“Teri-Ann”

Naomi instantly recognized her friend’s scream and darted to the doorway.

“Hold on”

Mitch, who was the only one armed with any kind of defensive tool, decided it would be best to take the lead and followed her to the entrance. Meanwhile, the cries continued to sound from the other side of the door. Naomi stepped back as he reached for the handle and slid the door open.

“Holy shit. Teri-Ann?”

It was too late for the sleeping beauty who was already halfway through the shattered frame and being whisked away by Olaf to finish off. Her lower torso was decorated with deep red which ran in rivulets from numerous abrasions on her dainty legs. Shards of glass were continuing to separate her skin as he gave her one final tug and she disappeared through the grue-dripping window cavity. Mitch dashed over with his weapon aloft but it was too late and the mountain man was already scurrying back into the thicket with his new prize. As Mitch looked over the sickening spread before him, which included traces of Derrick also, the penny finally dropped.

“We need to get the car NOW”

He threw up straight afterwards.

 

 

Click here to read Carnage

 

 

Truly, Really, Clearly, Sincerely,

 

Keeper of the Crimson Quill

Copyright: Crimson Quill: Savage Vault Enterprises 2014