Suggested Audio Jukebox ♬
 Styx “The Grand Illusion”
 Rage Against The Machine “Testify”
I make absolutely no attempt to hide my contempt when it comes to the media. While careful not to tar everyone involved with the same brush as that would hardly be fair and effectively career suicide, there’s plenty about this platform for mass communication that grabs me by the ghoulies and gives them a spiteful yank. The thing is, the older I get, the more I feel like I’ve got their number and all the smoke and mirrors is wasted on me as I’m one step ahead of their game. Today I plan to discuss just a handful of misdemeanors of which they are frequently culpable and cast a little further light on how low these infidels are prepared to land those blows in order to brainwash their target demographic. I guess that would make this a conspiracy theory of sorts and, if that’s true, then I’d better pack my bags now as this may be the last time you’ll hear from me. I’m sure they’d be aggravated no end to know that they’ve been rumbled and cover-up just so happens to be something they’ve got pretty much down to pat. After all, they generally control what people read, watch, and have drummed into them repeatedly. Such pitiful behavior positively reeks of fascism, but the thing that really flicks my fury bean is that the masses buy into their propaganda like it’s going out of fashion.
That said, the winds of change are certainly upon us and one look at politics confirms this to be very much true. Recently the deplorable Donald Trump was elected into the Whitehouse and, while not about to break out my happy klaxon, I can see why this drastic measure came about in the first place. You see, a similar thing happened here in the UK earlier this year as the majority of the population voted for Brexit and our country is no longer a part of the EU. It’s a shock to the system for sure but demonstrates how desperate we all are for change, even if that means agreeing to something that we have a sneaking suspicion we’ll regret further down the line. Meanwhile, private educated politicians are no longer in vogue, and we’re crying out for an everyday Joe to lead us out of these dark times. Folk are wising up fast and there’s only so many times that these smiling assassins can hoodwink us before the penny starts to drop that our eggs are in completely the wrong basket. What it all boils down to is a complete dearth of sincerity and I can smell that shit like a fart in a pantry. Now if only I could convince seven billion others, we’d be one revolution away from utopia.
So how do we spot the signs then? Well it seems only right that I start with the most current affairs and any X Factor fans may wish to tune out now as my first bugbear involves this long-running talent show and I don’t intend on pulling any punches. Now I do feel obliged to state from the offset that I tune into this tripe religiously and glean rather a lot of guilty pleasure from it also. In order to make it through an episode without performing hara-kiri on myself, I am required to accept it on its own terms, know that it’s goose shit and take it precisely how I find it. in recent years, ratings have begun to plummet, and I’m hedging my bet that others aren’t quite so forgiving as I. Whatever my reasons for subscribing to this televisual carnival, it no longer disappoints me as it’s as predictable a format as they come and seems either incapable or unwilling of changing its ways. Better the devil you know right? In the case of X Factor, that pretty much hits the nail on the head. That said, its crimes are plentiful and it just feels right to touch on a few of them while we’re sharing.
Let’s start with the contestants shall we? In order to ride the carousel, they must conform to the rules and regulations set out, undergo extensive media training, and tick as many boxes as possible in order to secure the devotion of the nation. Should they have stubbed their toe when they were twelve then this story will be presented via heartrending VT, complete with suitably melancholic audio and as many family photos as the producers can cram into their segment. Should they be asked a question, then the response is often so generic that we can prophesize it beforehand and we come away absolutely none the wiser. I actually have an example at hand as, the weekend just passed, one of the finalists performed a duet with his mentor, Nicole Scherzinger, and together they crooned out Prince’s Purple Rain, using the fact that this icon’s loss is still raw to many to milk the audience for all it was worth. Sorry to sound so pessimistic but, for me, the performance lacked only one thing – sincerity – and the impact was thus lessened considerably.
To begin with, there felt like no real connection between the two, just two admittedly strapping voices utilizing this powerhouse ballad to further their own credibility. Then, once the confetti had settled, both had a moment as such, and this entailed revealing just a smidgen of blue funk to show just how uncalculated a move this was on their part. Interestingly, there were no discernible tears, just a slight crack in the tone which is easily enough achieved with the cameras rolling. This was an utterly shameful move and only made worse as the following pair-up consisted of surprise favorite Saara Aalto and her warbling partner Adam Lambert. Having watched her blossom into the beautiful butterfly she is now, I’m all too aware that she has far too much dignity to act in such an underhand manner in order to achieve votes and this is why the entire nation have gotten behind her. Their duet was heartfelt, felt entirely unforced, and practised restraint as opposed to excess to leave its mark. Five years ago she wouldn’t have stood a snow fairy’s chance in a kiln of upsetting the odds but the public truly are beginning to wise up I feel.
Last weekend, within an hour of her place in the grand final being cemented, the tabloids began rolling out the obligatory fix stories in a pathetic attempt to prey on their opportunity to grab pole position with the headlines. It was so predictable and I had already foreseen it long before they went into press. You see, it’s all about making good news, shifting those units, and coming away looking like they’re doing the public some kind of great service when they’re actually insulting our collective intelligence. This may have worked before and may even appear to be doing so now but the egg is about to be smeared firmly on their faces as the days of such dishonest endeavor paying dividends are well and truly numbered. This is where the media operate at their most despicable as it’s not just about securing the majority stake but also conditioning their readership to come around to their skewed way of thinking. Cynicism is their most potent weapon and, should they create a degree of unrest, then they make themselves indispensable.
You want the truth? Well then you have to pay for that privilege and purchase a newspaper. Only it won’t be quite as authentic as we’re led to believe and damage limitation has no place here. Like a wrecking ball they plunder, with no mind whatsoever paid to those who their slander affects as long as it makes good news. This should hardly come as a great revelation to you as I know I’m not alone in my viewpoint. Gradually the world is wising up to their foul play and abuse of power, the fuse has been lit, and my firm belief is that it’s all about to go off in style. About bloody time too if you ask me. You see, individuality is no longer shunned quite so widely, we’re encouraged to own our own points of view and life choices, and the necessity for compliance is lessening with every day that passes. The more free thinking we become, the faster we can smell bullshit, and this doesn’t bode well when the very foundations of such organisations consist of compost.
They’ve been playing us for fools all along and getting away with it for the most part. However, they’ve also underestimated their opponents, as we’re smarter than we let on and have had quite enough of being told what to think, to feel, to believe. I use the media on a daily basis as it provides the platform from which I can make the most noise and have no great desire to bite the hand that feeds me. The thing is, it doesn’t actually feed me. My gig is 100% non-profit, not through personal choice, but because it’s a long, tiring road to recognition and not made easy for struggling creatives with anything unique to offer up. Tried and tested works best as it has seen them good thus far and they see no reason to repair something that ain’t broken. Word to the wise chowderheads, it’s busted up pretty bad and I’ll take tremendous heart from the fact that, when that bough eventually breaks, they’ll be the very last to know about it ironically. When the mighty fall and they will, make no bones, I’d get a rather hefty kick from being the one supplying the scoop. Now that would make one helluva front page story don’t cha think?