The Museum That Is I




Come take a stroll in the museum that is I
An exhibition most macabre
Composition of my cavernous psyche
Go grab yourself a candelabra
And take a step inside me


Should you feel a cold chill while passing through the lobby
Feel oddly out-of-body and your vision a little foggy
Then please don’t feel alarm as it is normal to embody trepidation in a place of such disproportioned curiosity
I’ve been known for tenebrosity as the shadows are most prominent you see


Calling occupants to get to work on lurching through the dark recesses
Suppressing the light, with bony fingers it caresses me
But I do not dispossess this as I’m all about possession
yes sirree


Have exorcised a fair few demons in my time upon this earth
Invited them inside this museum of mine
Which may explain my jet black eyes
As I have seen some frightful sights, let me tell you


I feel compelled to offer you the guided tour this strawberry moon
Not to dragoon you into hazard
Nothing that haphazard, I assure you
All will become clear soon
Of that you have my word


And the thing about my word is that its tensile strength compares with Tungsten
You could bludgeon it with a hammer and you will not observe it fracture
This is nothing manufactured but simply in my nature
As I’d hate to dish out false impressions
That’s not my wish at all


This gallery is my autopsy
Everything you see is a part of me
The very fine art of me
And said artistry is the arching tree
Which leans me towards the darkness see
So you see
My certificate of authenticity
Is what you see all around you


I take what is beautiful and make it drop dead delectable
Like a vestibule of fusion, I possess the tools for restitution
It’s not easy to improve on perfection
Which may explain why dismembered toys beguile me
This is precisely why I cling to rust and lust for dust so blithely


There be soot within my chimney stack
And I’m an absolute Betty for Black
Jet black
Always bet on it you see
Although I have bled on red when placing razor blades on the roulette wheel
All in for the kill and it is noir that leads the carnage
Red is just a side bet


This may appear oppressive
A dash or six unsightly
And if it does
Then quite rightly


Grotesqueries suggestively positioned to collectively possess the senses extensively
Ostensibly molesting them but jesting as it tests the mettle
Better the devil you know, right?
So don’t just stand there like a statue, get to know
Mingle like shingles


I guess a good place to commence would be my beloved tools of trade
And here are just a smattering
Be advised they’re exceedingly keen so you may wish to refrain from ill-communicative tampering


For the cleanest of incisions you need a blade with some precision
And there isn’t a great deal this sterile assemblage cannot slice through
For exposition of the bone and marrow
You need but two narrow eyes and one of these guys
Oh, and a steady hand would help
Just so happens, I have two of them


A surgeon’s phalanges come in handy and I plied my trade in Whitechapel
Have the leather apron to prove it
The great Jack the Ripper has been known to pass
And I met this curious fellow upon the Grey-Chapel Path


Twas two lives before last if I recall
And boy oh boy, did he leave a bold impression
So I took to his profession like a bonesaw would to cartilage
The advantage to which were two eyes for vivisection
To go with my wrought-iron gut
Let’s just say I made the cut
And save ourselves touché


All work and no play would make Grey a cliché
And that just wouldn’t do now would it?
Besides, every girl wants to dance with Jesus right?


From The Lazarus Lurch to The Judas Hustle
The Temptation Tango to The Pilate Shuffle
From cover to chucklesome cover
The messiah has me covered
May not head to church on Sundays
But every last day is a fun day in the temple I slam
And whatever would life be bereft of our old friend whimsy?


Flimsy religion aside, I take tremendous pride in a far more traveled fellow
Tis a knight of Nordic inclination
With a grip of rusted leather and a devil of a temper
On many occasions, he hath been my protector
Thus, earning pride swelling place aside my Keeper


That said, my knight required a most dicey procedure
As from the knee down, he did not please me
So I placed my butcher head on
And tackled the problem the same way
He appeared tiny bones away from perfection
So I blessed him with precisely that
And tipped his mighty staff with the tooth of a stag
Now he stands to proud attention


You wish to see the heart of me
Well there He is and I’m his She
The Alpha and Omega of love omnipotent
This timeless devotion has been outspoken through the ages
And now the time hath come to herald once again


Like King and Queen, we live each dream
Watch over one while the other sleeps
He keeps me warm
And I do He
Indeed, we bleed in symmetry
My Keeper, the He to my She


Here are a few of my favorite things
I call this The Wall
Top left are two of my very dearest friends
When you look up the word precious, then this pair have an exclusive spot there
The God Who Art Reznor’s fingertips touched the exhibit to the right
And the sweet little girl with a bat and long lashes is quite simply delightful
I love The Wall
Just as I adore my feathers also


Do love me some plumage
And while admittedly arrangement proves a fair bit time-consuming
What is good for the goose is the same way for the ostrich
Here, feel free to take a gander
While I scamper off like a salamander and retrieve our next exhibit


I have had a thing for geisha since the very early days
Their eastern promise covers the trifecta – subtlety, strength, and grace
With China white faces and rosebud lips painted
Silk kimonos boasting the very height of sophistication
This brace of hostesses are less than perplexed by the ancient art of conversation
And I care greatly for my ladies polite persuasions


At any rate, that is quite enough of the pageantry
What say we get down to some anatomy?


I built this little dude by hand
And I’ll be damned he’s a handful
So much so, in fact, that he refused to let me dress him with a dermis
Well, half of it
He appears unaffected by the lack of flesh protecting each capillary, nerve and its ending
As his credence appears to be unbending
Says a lot for the skin we’re in, don’t cha reckon?


This next curiosity may well have me queening
As this two-inch square double negative is positively teeming with enigma
No stigma attached to how I gleaned such an artifact
In actual fact, I’ll tell you straight
I procured this at an estate sale
And the very second I spotted it, my eyes dilated
Inscribed beneath the photograph is a solitary word which I concur chauffeurs me to a different time and place


And I do love me some chills
Having felt somewhat ghostly for much of my life
And entertained all manner of spectres and sprites
I’m more than in tune with that which defrights
And besides,
Who doesn’t love a good peek-a-boo?


Prior to concluding this tour of me
I wish to share with you one more thing
You may recall me mentioning dismembered toys
And wonder where they get to
Please allow me to clear that one up in a jiffy
As some may find such rejects unpretty
But not this Missy
Kissy kissy little playthings
Who cares if they’re shy of a few superfluous limbs
They still deserve a place to call their home right?
Hell is for heroes after all


Speak of the devil and I shall give him your regards
As bending his ear entails no need to travel far
Sincerely, I take counsel with the dark lord and his bad self
Believe it or not, there’s a lot I could tell you about this particular angel expelled
But hell, the time has come to bid you fine people farewell
Thus, I shall leave you to form your own conclusions
As to the origins of Lucifer and our compelling collusion
Best you wait for the absolution


I trust this tour has been to your liking
The above are a menagerie of the things which truly define me
My soul may be darker than the average curator
What can I say? My person suit is well-tailored
I am ever so pleased you stopped by the museum that is I
This excursion of macabre perversion has regrettably reached its final curtain
And, with that, I shall bid you all goodnight
Oh, and watch out for those bed bugs
They have been known to bite
Sleep tight



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