The Infinite Love Ode

Title image by Chuck Hodi

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Prelude

I am never ever more alive than when bleeding my reddest love onto parchment for the woman I adore. When my love and I first started scribing odes like the one I am about to share, it seemed unthinkable that any other eyes and ears would ever see or read them. After all, there is nothing more deeply intimate than opening to the flowers in your bones and becoming a fountain of prose for love. And gestures like these would only be lessened by making them public, surely?

Perhaps. Had it not been for the Citadel. This is our name for the Rivers of Grue you tread water in this day. And it goes under another. Home. A place of infinite meaning. Like any dwelling, we furnish it how we see fit. And what more fitting way to decorate this palace than with the rhapsodies of our deepest souls hearts? Once we do so, then each word becomes immortalized forever. Just like our love is already.

Better yet, we are not alone in the places our souls guide us. And it is our sincere wish that other lovers care for what we confide here. Extract the romance from each stanza and make your own plans with it. Love a little bit harder, place yourselves in a position to be loved the same way, and see where that takes you. Some wonderful places, I assure you. You could say an infinite number and then multiply it by itself. And the following ode can be infinity’s kiss if you just part your lips. And let true love exist.

Alternative Audio

Amanda Palmer “I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Instrumental)”

You are the miracle
You are the sun and the moon
You are the universe and every star in it
Limitless and infinite

I always said I would do it for an infinite love
I would take a chance
I would let the dance lead me
I would become the man I always wished to be before drifting listlessly out to sea
I would once again… breathe

I would bet on black and spin the wheel just to actually be feeling something
I would shatter my ribcage, pull it wide apart, and allow my heart to be flattered into revealing something
I would do no less than my very, very best
Then press on and go one better
And, when a single thing in life upset Her, She would only see the very best of me

I would write Her a letter just like this one using my very own blood as ink
I would shift the earth’s polarity just to stop her head from spinning
I would look into Her eyes and do so without ever once blinking
and she would never know a single thing less than precisely what I am thinking

I would stop myself from sinking
Cease thinking it couldn’t happen to me
Not lock up my demons
Not throw away the key
But let them run free as they need to run free

Drink all the green tea in China
Sign a declaration just to mark the occasion
Make a bold statement like “I would die for you” and mean it
Be the one dream that doesn’t morph into an incomprehensible nightmare
Be the one white-knighted king who truly loves Her like a queen

And, as I dismount my steed,
Take Her hand into mine and kneel at Her feet
She will never ever have felt quite so seen

Only one kind of love would allow this kind of light, not to survive within the shadows, but thrive within the shadows
Make us feel truly alive for the first time in our whole goddamn lives within these shadows
for we have every right to hold hands tight within these shadows
and this can only delight our shadows

For thee, the part of apt pupil I shall play most willingly
Listen intently and hear every last word that you say
Replay conversations in my head without dread creeping in
Answer the call of my heart and never once question its reasoning

I shall take every last word that you said, rust it, dust it with stars, and frame it
Proclaim this as gospel
Become your apostle
And hallowed be thy name

For you are the miracle
You are the sun and the moon
You are the universe and every star in it
Limitless and infinite

I shall learn this love of ours and do so relentlessly
Never spurn the opportunity to brutally depend on thee
Know, as I do, that you can brutally depend on me
That I possess the true heart of a lion
and it now has one steel-clad reason to beat

For I now have a reason to prowl
And prowl I bloody well shall
As I can tear the windpipe from a throat with one growl
Disembowel with another
With the might you empower
I can fucking devour
Like the ultimate lover

I shall spread my tattered wings to span and remember what they’re for
As the wind you place beneath them lends them the altitude to soar
I shall make you profoundly proud just to return the sweet favour
And I have never ever been more proud before in any one of my lives than I am right this very second of the one I adore

What’s more
You’re my saviour
And every major artery corroborates this heartily
For you are at the dead centre of the very deepest heart of me
Only you can relinquish the true art from me
Distinguish the one part of me that no one cared enough to entertain
And trust this wholeheartedly

I always said I would do it for an infinite love
but who knew I’d be taken on my word
No mistaking a miracle when it eventually comes
As make no mistake
a miracle was precisely what it would take to reinstate a blinded faith so disgracefully debased and misplaced after taking yet another hit it was ill-equipped to take

You are that miracle
You are the sun and the moon
You are the universe and every star in it
Limitless and infinite