Royals: A Kingdom Beckons


Suggested Audio Overture:

Amen California’s Bleeding

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Roll up! Roll up! Welcome to the greatest show on Earth Grueheads. We join in communion on the eve of something truly astonishing. The Orphan Killer: Bound X Blood is nearing, as y’all should be very much aware at this point, Matt Farnsworth’s mental cervix is almost fully dilated and will soon be ready to birth its monster. I can almost taste its alloy tang in my larynx and Keeper’s palms are clammier than Swamp Thing’s testes at the sheer notion of this beast with 1000 fingers tearing through our screens within the next few months.

Right now it’s the calm before the storm, time to get a little closer to our king and queen than we have gotten previously and plentiful chance to meet and greet some of the big dicks swinging with Marcus this time out. This is our first time behind the bloody curtain, the Royals sequence will chronicle each photo shoot, advancement and triumph as it happens and keep you gorgeous people versed as TOK rolls forth its battering ram and takes the free world by storm. In the words of our king, Royals will be “a periodical depicting the raucous, sad, cruel, inspiring, sexual, bloody and spectral  elements of our life”. Hear fucking hear.

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I am the Keeper of The Crimson Quill, baptized in blood by the royals as their First Knight. This mantle I wear with fierce honor and it just so happens that I have a little prose ricocheting about my cerebral cortex which I plan to send your way. I like to season King Matt’s prime-rib, there I said it. I prepare that shit for the upcoming banquet and gluttons shall soon rejoice at the festivities planned. Surely that doesn’t mean we’ll be getting in between the sheets and up close and personal with our royals? All good things Grueheads…all good things.

So right off the bat I’m going to make this abundantly clear to y’all. Bound X Blood will commence shooting in Los Angeles days from now, in the hive no less. Right now our monarchs are ready to get a little blood in the sand. Intense training is afoot, both have undertaken rigorous boxing routines to get their beautiful bodies at their apex. They take their shit seriously, take one look at Audrey Miller as she dangles before her brother in those barbed cuffs. Anyone who believes acting to be ‘reading a whole bunch of lines off a sheet’…shame on you.

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The delectable Diane Foster is Audrey, she inhabits her every ounce of anguish and takes the rough very much before the smooth. We know of her plight, of course, from The Orphan Killer’s first outing and we were right alongside her as she desperately attempted to evade her sanctimonious sibling. You can choose many things in life and family ain’t one of them. Thus, it is time that this resplendent swan undergoes her ultimate metamorphosis. You want conviction and dark purpose? You’ve very much got it. Nobody puts Baby Sister in the corner! In addition, there will be all manner of unhinged reprobates coming through these here doors over the coming months, Keeper being one of them. As Grueheads, you get the exclusive opportunity to take the tour with us, taste the dread and even sniff the sex. Think of their glorious kingdom as an open house for madness and you’ll be in the ballpark. I relish taking you deeper.

I was pondering the other day, thinking it’d be a great time for a good old fashioned video nasty, the likes of which mama used to bake up in the eighties. Victor Crowley had his kicks but there were too many tongues in cheeks for that morose motherfucker to really resonate. Chromeskull, now there’s a creepy-assed dude. Truth be known I was willing him on, great concept but not entirely successful in its execution. Now he’s just a guy in a fancy chrome mask. Then we have Marcus, the bastard child of Matt Farnsworth and nightmare maker for well over four million people and rapidly escalating.

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One outing was all it took for us to know there was something different about Marcus. Beneath that crude mask lays the tormented soul of a brilliant mind, an educated eradicator. With lucidity he explains his actions, passes his judgements and rights the wrongs of those who have had him so cruelly shackled all these years. He can’t be bargained with, no dressing up in mommy’s sweater this time round to pull the wool over this bad apple’s eyes. Pure malevolence, distilled into little over six foot of raging fury.

He’s down in the basement right now, grinding his teeth and running his digit along the serrated edge of his death-granter. Maybe on our tour we’ll swing down there and pay him a visit. He likes visitation although it would be advisable not to be getting too near now you hear? I plan to get my ass close enough to within licking distance, I want to look into the reds of his eyes and drink in some of that evil to arm me up for the bloody road ahead. If I’m really fortunate he may cut me, not to the bone, just a shallow insignia to denote ownership will do me just fine. You see, I live by the sword and have every intention of dying in precisely the same manner.

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I mentioned there will be H-bombs dropped and, indeed, there are is overspilling crate of nitroglycerin ahead of us Grueheads. A number of big names have already been procured for Bound X Blood and, over the course of the next few months, all shall be become clear. This is your access all areas pass to the festivities, as your guide I can guarantee you many things…your safe passage not being one of them. Ladies please leave your soiled panties in the deposit box by the front door as they will be surplus to requirements. It’s time to make our way inside.

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You want exclusives? You’re in the right place. Got a penchant for cruor? Then watch it gush faster than a prolapsed pensioner. Sins of the flesh get you off? There’s debauchery waiting at every turn. As the desert skies become painted deep red and the carcasses begin to pile up before our wide eyes, the mandate for the future of independent horror will become very much the present. It is quite the blueprint; pulsating like a gnarled tumor, constantly transmogrifying and never content with simply standing still. We have all become familiar now with the Madness of King Matt and Cruelty of Lady Die. Thing is, we’ve only seen the very tip of the iceberg thus far and Keeper plans to take us sub-aqua, to the dark heart of this glacier over the coming months as we break bread with our nobles.

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Baby Sister has received her baptism, relinquished her grip on a ‘normal’ reality and accepted her bloodline. Her trajectory will be charted by Keeper as we join in her incline towards hysteria. No ‘getting into character’, the Audrey we see is no caricature. Diane Foster’s investment is organic from the very root, the mental tussle from the first film is way behind us both geographically and historically and this time out we get to see her character’s clarity. Consequently the atrocities that she endured have left their stain.

We shall spend time with Mad King Matt, ride his serpent as he takes us kicking and screaming straight into the eye of this storm. He is in possession of a beautiful contorted mind and we will be primed to learn a little more about what makes our master tick. As well as owning every tool necessary to make this film happen yesterday without so much as flinching, he has many other strings in his bloody bow…a quill filled with crimson darts no less. Y’all get to see him flex those painted biceps as he fires some off for our exclusive pleasure.


He is a gifted artist and a poet too don’t you know? There are a number of creations hanging within their family home and I gleefully stood and absorbed their sublime brilliance for hours on end. If you weren’t already aware, Matt used to run courses whereby he trained young people how to express themselves through art and he is a great role model for these hopeful kids. His art is, quite simply, off the chain.


The first thing that struck me about this glorious art was just how intricate it was, you could spin it a full 360 and its message would be entirely different from whatever perspective. Everything was inter-linked, vibrant and expressive. When Matt explained that it was about an eight minute process fashioning one of these magnificent beauties I understood. Like Keeper’s prose, it comes from somewhere deep. We had a conversation about this, where it comes from, and it become apparent that none of us have the answers. That is true endowment right there, a true artiste knows not where it originates from, we don’t have a handle on that shit. It just is.

Soon we shall soon be taking a look inside, Keeper would merrily chat the back wheels off a donkey but the time is drawing ever nearer to sneak a look see. From July 31st I will be jetting to join this bitter carnival and for the following seven weeks my sleeves shall be rolled up and the blood will invariably be gushing. No disclaimers here, you enter at your own peril…and I already see you sliding off your brogues on the mat so, without further ado, let us drink from the delectable fonts of our Royals. ‘Tis going to be most savage, mark my words.

Bound X Blood


Blood is the glue that binds us together
It pumps and it flows, with conviction
I’m watching it gush as my limbs he does sever
and I now know the fact in his fiction


He’s called Marcus Miller, notorious killer
relinquishing darkest endorphins
An ominous pillar, relentless blood spiller
Preparing to fashion more orphans


He’ll saw and he’ll carve, then you’ll cleave you in half
and do so without but a flicker,
We’ve followed him once, now he treads a new path
One where the blood flows much thicker


You’d be right to assume that from womb until tomb
The bloodlust continues to buffer
But there’s also a sibling, a cruel temptress whom
no longer intends just to suffer


To sins not yet committed…raise a chalice,

Sponsored by @TheOrphanKiller
Performances by @MattFarnsworth @DieannFoster
Cruel Art by @MattFarnsworth
Prose and scribing by @RiversofGrue
Copyright Full Fathom 5 Productions LLC. All Rights Reserved.



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