Definition of a Martyr




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Nine Inch Nails “Ghosts IV”





If you think that I’m a narcissist
Then check the definition
If you think that I manipulate
Then check the definition
If you think that I am arrogant
Then you know what to do
Come and meet me face-to-face, the answer will be standing right in front of you


We often throw these words around without the grounds to make that call
Think ourselves nobody’s fool, then fool ourselves with shrouded thoughts
Someone has to take the fall for all the pain we’re going through
May as well be me as I can take it
Worn this smile through thick and thin, my only sin was faking it
Now I don’t
This one’s for real
Don’t turn it into grimace
Take me on my word and I’ll use spoken verse to break the limits
God complex this isn’t
Not looking to be hailed messiah
The more good people lift me up, the more I elevate them higher
Trying hard to educate, not to insult intelligence
Merely to bring home the truths in underused self-evidence
Lack of worth, know how that feels
Only one on this cruel earth whose blood is not seen spilling
Feeling all alone, at least until I took a giant leap away from end of days
Love was all around me and the river deep with gushing praise
Did it go straight to my head?
No, it headed somewhere better
Grabbed the quill, commenced to spill, composed each one a soulfelt letter
Still so many miss the point
This isn’t all about me
Tear down walls and you may see it’s written in the grout of me
Together we are in with shout
And all I wish to do
Is spread belief to each and every one of you who sees the actual truth
It’s right here on this parchment
In the blood of my stigmata
For the right cause, I’m adored, will gladly play the part of martyr
Not to bloat a Godhead
Just to show it can be done
That someone can mean every word they say
Someone really can be purest love
Just can’t achieve this solo
Recovery is still ongoing
Stronger now by longest chalk
Some days I feel worthless
Allergic to the small talk
Others, I see this is where we truly learn each other
Suddenly, we’re sisters, brothers, family of lovers
With bleeding hearts upon our sleeves and reason to these cuff links
And, should this constitute as treason
Then lock me up and toss away the key
Better yet, just see me
For what I really am
A simple man with simple needs and complex mind inclined to timeless symphony
Not on the lookout for sympathy
Empathy will do me
To know that I am not alone, that shadows need not fool me
In light I bask and only ask that others take my hand and stand within the rivers frail until such time as we prevail together
If I ever do get seen by the overwhelmed majority
Then mark these words, I shall refer to all those who supported me
Authority, autonomy
Not my preferred economy
And, should you still not see this
Then godspeed on your travels
Sickened by the waiting while the plot of rot unravels
Take your shots and take my blessing
I’ll go back to convalescing
Dressing smiles where feasible
Checking my own definition
Never less than all in at the river ever blindly
And should my sanctuary be yanked away from me
Then, to one and all who see me, you will know just where to find me





Richard Charles Stevens


Keeper of The Crimson Quill



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